My life has been bereft for the past six years.

Yes, my son was born and my nephews got into Oxford and Cambridge. But honestly, in the great scheme of things, who cares about any of that? Such minor fillips hardly come close to alleviating the deprivation I’ve suffered.

I’m sure, since you’re a discerning person — you must be, since you read the JC — you don’t need me to explain what I’m talking about. You have, after all, suffered too.

We’ve all suffered from the absence of Curb Your Enthusiasm from our screens.

Six long years it’s been since Larry David left us.

Ed Miliband hadn’t eaten that bacon sandwich yet. Mauricio Pochettino hadn’t been made Southampton manager. And Meghan Markle was still “who?”.

I tried to keep it together. I watched DVDs. Repeatedly. I even flew to New York to see Larry on Broadway. And that helped. But it was a bit like being told you can’t have rye bread, but here’s some sourdough instead. It’s good stuff, but it isn’t what you really need.

Now, though, he’s back. Larry is on TV with another series of Curb and life is once again worth living.

A deleted scene from the current season of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Please note that the dialogue may not be suitable for all audiences.

For those of us for whom Curb is simply the greatest comedy there has ever been — for whom it is, in fact, the greatest thing there has ever been — a life with no prospect of Curb is no life at all. And for those of you who aren’t in that category I have only thing to say: go away. Your views are, by definition, not worth bothering with.

So, to Season Nine.

Not that there was ever any doubt, but… phew.

Matt Lucas says that he doesn’t think he could get away with some of the sketches in Little Britain in today’s climate. And in a parallel universe there’s doubtless another Season Nine of Curb where a newly polite Larry David walks away rather than saying what he thinks.

But, in our universe, Larry is still Larry. This week he managed to destroy a lesbian relationship and have a fatwa placed on his head after a loose word about ayatollahs, in an episode that was right up there with the best.

What a relief that Curb remains Curb, as perfect and insensitive as ever.

And with Jeff Garlin, Susie Essman and Cheryl Hines all back in their roles — and even Richard Lewis, who appears to have had the illness from hell — it’s wonderful to be able to relax and know that everything is right with the world again.

As for the plot — it was Curb. It came, it developed, it resolved.

Who else could build an entire plot on a decision not to open a door for a woman because she looked like she wouldn’t want a door to be opened for her?

And can then spin that into a story based on the issue of who is the bride and who the groom in a lesbian wedding?

I realise that this is the reviews slot, but you’re not getting a review from me. You’ve watched it already. You know how good it is. And if you haven’t, you should.

So what else do you want?