Strange things are definitely astir over at psc headquarters . First came Muslim convert and guest speaker at a psc meeting in Finchley , Laura Stuart , writing about Tony Greensteins sticky keyboard - I know he's been told before about dunking his little soldier in his breakfast egg while typing . Next up was someone by the name of Janet Green who on leaving a psc meeting in Hammersmith told our intrepid reporter Rich Millett just how many Jewish men she had played ahem " doctors and nurses with ". Now we have resident fantasist Ben F pouring out his unrequited desires for two truly Amazonian women of the Hebrew nation (ok so Julie burchill might just as well be ). What with our two resident Hags continually obsessing over the Hoff , it's becoming somewhat sinister .
For answers to this disturbing trend , we need to understand the subconscious drive and compulsion to strengthen the gene pool by mating with those who have contributed to every field of human endeavour and creativity in total disproportion to their numbers .
I understand and sympathize with the urgency of your mission Ben , but unfortunately it will take more than that to raise your Palestinian flag pole .
But count yourself lucky that your fantasies are destined to remain just that when referring to" threesomes " . Just remember what the female mantis does to her male suitor after a night of passion .