Our nights out with the girls...

November 24, 2016 22:40

The other week Victoria Beckham tweeted a photo with the caption "night out with the girlies".

As I, too, had just had an exceedingly jolly night out with the girlies (if women all the wrong side of 40 can be called 'girlies') I had a little look to see how our evenings might compare.

Her girlies turned out to include Eva Longoria and the Williams sisters. Mine… did not.

Let us consider the two evenings in further detail:

The Clothes

I'm guessing Victoria's conversation wasn’t focused on Tesco's early Pesach stock

VB: I looked at the photos Victoria had posted. There was satin. There were plunging necklines. There were designer labels as far as the eye could see.

CR: I looked at the photos we had taken. They were mainly of pizza. The ones that weren't can only lead me to ask hopefully whether M&S might count as designer?

The Make Up

VB: Yes, there was make up. Stylish, film starry make up more immaculate than, an immaculate thing in immaculate land.

CR: Between us we were able to stump up one smattering of lipstick and a smudge of mascara.

The Food

CR: Of course there was food. We are Jewish girls. What exactly is the point of an evening out if it doesn't involve carbohydrates by the bucket load (washed down with flagons of Diet Coke, naturally)? There was garlic bread. There was pasta. There was cheesecake (one, with four spoons).

VB: Debatable. In the past, Victoria has confessed to the 'five handfuls' diet (five small handfuls of food a day). Which is surely more of a kiddush than a meal - let alone 24 hours' worth of meals? She has also spent periods existing on little more than vegetables. But I ask you: when the good Lord created carrots was the entire point not so that man could then create cholent?

The Conversation

Put it this way: ours did not revolve around what we would be wearing for the Oscars. And I'm guessing that hers didn't revolve around the fact that Tesco seem to have got their Pesach stock in early this year.

The Bill

Limos and cocktails versus London Underground and carbohydrates. Our night may just have come in a bit cheaper.

I looked at Victoria's photos again and then tweeted her back just to check. "Am guessing your night out with the girlies didn't involve Pizza Express and a discount voucher?"

I'm still waiting to hear back.

November 24, 2016 22:40

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