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To help babies sleep, stop saying the Shema

Chantelle Angel told a client to stop repeating the prayer as 'it just ended up stimulating the baby more'

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Parents with newborn babies may be united by sleep deprivation, endless nappy changes and washing loads, but there are a unique set of challenges facing Charedi families.

According to sleep consultant Chantelle Angel, who has worked with dozens of strictly-Orthodox families in Stamford Hill, there are special questions around Shabbat and Yom Tov, as well as having multiple children sharing a bedroom.

She has even had to talk a client out of repeating the Shema prayer every time the baby woke up at night, because “it just ended up stimulating the baby more”.

“I had one client in a two-bedroom apartment, with 10 children,” says 31-year-old Angel, a former Hasmonean girls’ school student.

“We ended up sleeping training the child in the dining room, because otherwise they will disrupt the other children. I find that multiple children sharing rooms is a very common situation that I manage.”

But for Angel, who attends Chabad in Hampstead Garden Suburb, there are more critical issues to manage with some religious clients who rely on outdated information.

“A lot of these families don’t have access to the internet, so they don’t check the latest safe sleeping or feeding guidance,” she says.

“Parents I have worked with are on their third or fourth child, and they are relying on information that has now changed. I give advice on the correct sleepwear, telling them that they need to use a cellular blanket for a newborn, not a regular one. I remind people that a cot should not be next to a radiator. I’ll also provide safety guidance, for example a newborn should always sleep on their back.”

She adds: “Other times I have been really saddened when I ask what happens when the child goes to a local nursery. I heard that one child was only a few months old and was given sugar and water to get to sleep. I was horrified.”

The mother-of-two – who has been hired by corporates to support employees with young children - tends to meet Charedi clients “by word of mouth”.

She knows that questionnaires sent via email, will come back almost a week later when they are able to access to a computer. She knows that she cannot just message some on WhatsApp, because “the vast majority are still using landlines instead of mobile phones”.

“A lot first ask me if I am Jewish,” she says. “It might be because they know I will be aware of religious festivals coming up, or I won’t ask them to book a call around Shabbat.”

A trained Montessori nursery teacher specialising in child-led learning, Angel - who supports people with children from six months old - decided to pursue her Dreaming Angels sleep consultancy business in 2020 after she saw the benefits with her eldest son, Joshua.

After facing hourly wake-ups and co-sleeping with him until he was eight-months-old, she hired a sleep consultant, where fees can start from £1,000 a week. Within three days, he slept through the night.

“Before that, my mental health was deteriorating, the relationships around me were deteriorating. There was anxiety around going to bed every night. I was getting depressed because I just needed to sleep.

"Once he slept, I couldn’t believe how quickly I felt myself again.” Angel, who has a “gentle” approach to sleep training with fees starting from £180, adds: “I saw first-hand the difference it could make, and there was a gap in the market for more affordable sleep support.

"Parents just don’t know where to turn, so I am really passionate about what I do.”

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