Life & Culture

Is there really a shortage of single Jewish men?

Or is it just a myth? The JC's very own Yente has the answers


Happy friends taking selfie at a birthday party

Q: Dear Yente: I have so many amazing single Jewish female friends. Where are all the Jewish single men and how can they find them?

A: Since setting up my blind date scheme I’ve had many a conversation about this subject. As I reach the first anniversary of the business this month, I recall one of the most significant moments, in the early days of The A-gency. It had been a few days since I’d sent the broadcast message and began recruiting people for my pilot pool and as messages were flurrying in, there were considerably more from girls than from guys.

I found this quite stressful as how could I possibly start a dating agency with an unequal number of women and men? Is there actually a shortage of single Jewish men?

The next day I was out for a picnic with my work girls, updating them on this crazy idea I had, but shared my concerns about the lack of men who’ve signed up so far. It was as if God had heard me in that very moment and what followed that afternoon was sheer excitement (and bottles of prosecco) as I started receiving messages and calls from plenty of guys interested in taking part. Although some of the guys needed a little persuading, I was truly thankful that my prayers were answered that day!

Flash forward to today and although I do have more women than men on my books, I strongly believe that this is no representation of the population of single Jewish men and women.

In fact, I am convinced that there is an abundance of eligible Jewish bachelors and it is a myth that they don’t exist.

My newfound vocation as matchmaker means I naturally have also taken on the role of dating guru (the irony of this kills me daily). While I understand that it may feel there are more single Jewish women, I emphasise the word ‘feel’.

Rather than letting this feeling dominate our dating lives I think we need to reboot our minds and our satnavs.

Let’s be real for a minute. No one is keeping tabs of the single Jewish men and women out in the deep blue dating sea right now. If someone has even attempted to collect data and create some statistics on this we all know they are already out-of-date (no pun intended) as fishes leave the dating sea and return in the blink of an eye.

So when I say it is a myth, a feeling, I mean it. We don’t have any statistics proving otherwise so don’t let this aura of pessimism get the better of you.

Once you’ve changed your mindset it is time to check that satnav of yours. Where are you looking for these men? There are so many routes to find your soulmate so make sure you are being proactive and putting yourself out there.

Jewish dating apps, social events, tell friends you want to be set up, go where Jews go, weddings, charity talks/dinners, The A-gency (obviously) etc. This list is just a starting point but you know what you need to do…

And if you’re a single Jewish guy, looking for your soulmate and happen to be reading this (or have been sent it by your grandma) then let this article be your wake-up call!

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