Oo-err missus

November 24, 2016 22:52

I’ve been ill all week. I warn you, here and now, that I’m going to be very complainy moany whingey this week.

I had Freshers’ Flu in, well, Freshers’ week. That got better. But on Saturday I went to Hampton Court with Mummy and Daddy (had a scone, lovely), and I started coughing slightly. I was so tired I went to sleep on the grass in one of the massive gardens (imagine Versailles with someone taking a nap in the fountain, that’s how weird it looked), and when I woke up I was hacking my guts out. It was quite unnerving, gripping my neck in pain, while about 200 meters away from where Henry VIII decided to lop off Anne Boleyn’s head. Oo-err missus. (I’d quite like to bring that phrase back into usage, if anybody would like to help me? No?)

Anyway, I went back to uni and slept. Sunday, I slept ALL DAY. I have never slept so much in my life.

I have actually managed to go to lectures every time. I am so proud of myself for that: at school, there is no way I would have bothered. “Oh no, I seem to have dropped my toothbrush on my toe, I must go to bed and rest off this terrible pain instead of going to school”. But now it’s like, university, and all that. I have gone through two rolls of toilet paper (cheaper than tissues, a good student tip there!) and drunk about five litres of orange juice. Yes, I am the combine harvester of London town with the amount of fruit I shovel down when I’m sick.

The second point of my complainy-ness stems from, again, my illness. I ran out of loo roll (cheaper than tissues, I repeat), so I trotted on down to Sainsbury’s to get some, as well as some cooking oil, proper tissue packets (I got bored of having to unroll and fold, one-handed, on the occasions where my other hand is engaged, stopping a wall of sneeze from exiting my nose) and some deodorant. Guess what it cost me. I am very money-conscious and check the pennies per kg, pounds per litre stuff. Go on, guess. £10. Ten English Pounds. TEN. POUNDS. TEN! What?! Crazy.

Used my Nectar card though. That’s one good thing about the recession. More points on your card. There you go, there’s a bright side to everything!

…I think.

November 24, 2016 22:52

Want more from the JC?

To continue reading, we just need a few details...

Want more from
the JC?

To continue reading, we just
need a few details...

Get the best news and views from across the Jewish world Get subscriber-only offers from our partners Subscribe to get access to our e-paper and archive