Neurotic that the man sneezing near you on the tube has deposited swine flu bacteria all over the armrest next to your seat? Utterly terrified that the hand holding the grab-rail ahead of you as you emerge from the underground may have recently been used to stifle a bacteria-laden cough or splutter? Freaked by the need to touch the door-knob in order to enter your favourite shop? Desperate for a way to wash your hands before you arrive at your destination? Yup, me too. Because, with the UK harbouring the largest number of cases in Europe - and some of them in Barnet, north-west London - aren't we are all more than a bit neurotic about swine flu right now.

And then, as if by magic, a solution - or, if not a solution, something to make me feel a little less vulnerable - landed on my desk yesterday, courtesy of a clever PR: a little bottle of Anti-bacterial Hand Hygiene Gel (by Cuticura, since you ask). Small enough to hide in my handbag, the gel can be furtively applied after I have accidentally touched, well, almost anything, anywhere.... It's the gel or haz-mat gloves, and I just can't find a pair that works with my spring wardrobe.