In a controversial announcement, the British Music Council (BMC) has endorsed a proposal by the EU Culture and Sport Executive that would permit Hamas to enter a contestant in next year’s Eurovision Song Contest.

‘For a long time now’ said Lars Von Tricki of the EU Culture and Sport Executive ‘contestants from outside geographical Europe have participated in this yearly jamboree. We would like to extend the hand of music to the Palestinians’

‘Obviously,’ continued Mr Von Tricki ‘we would not welcome any controversial anthems or songs but the Palestinians have a long tradition of folk and contemporary music’.

Tunes in the style of previous Hamas’ hits such as ‘The Kalashnikov and the Balaclava’ and ‘My Sister is a Martyr’ are unlikely to be accepted.

The Israeli Embassy in London was quick to release a knee jerk response.
‘Hamas is the head of the snake of international terrorism, the axis around which the evil revolves’, said an Embassy Spokesperson.
‘If Hamas are permitted to sing a song for Europe then people in the West may see them as human beings, with emotions and dignity, rather than the monolithic terror sect they actually are. If you humanise what Israel has already dehumanised how can we possibly continue to kill and imprison them with impunity?’

Stephen - two chins - Pollard of the Jewish Chronicle added ‘Obviously the JC is, as ever, impartial and non – hysterical in its reporting but this is a further example of the malign influence of the British Muslim Council.’

It was pointed out to Mr Pollard that the British Muslim Council and the British Music Council are two separate bodies.

‘The evidence we have’ continued Mr Pollard ‘is that they are one and the same thing. According to the Israel-based Intelligence and Terrorism Information Centre the British Music Council is actually a front for exporting Hamas’ hatred across Europe. As the Terrorism and Information Centre was set up by an ex IDF Colonel we believe every word of his to be the truth’

‘We are not affiliated in any way with the other BMC. We believe in the rights of everybody to sing clappy, happy Eurotrash’ said a spokeswoman for the BMC, Sally May.

Speaking from Israel, Dana International said that she (he?) was more than happy for Hamas to send a song to Europe.
‘Only by singing together’ Dana International opined, ‘can we break down the, ahem, walls that divide us’.