Esther's manifesto (probably)

November 24, 2016 22:51

Esther Rantzen is strongly considering standing as MP in Luton South.

This is a brilliant idea. The 68-year-old has a very good chance of winning especially at a time when the rest of the MPs are about as popular as a food free wedding.

She may not have won the public vote during appearances on various reality TV shows like Strictly Come Dancing and I'm a Celebrity...Get Me out of Here! but she was not unpopular. And the skill set of the former That's Life! star and ChildLine founder, is far more suited to politics.

It's about time we had a cheerful face in Parliament instead of the current crop of sour pusses. And she'll no doubt dispense some good common-sense advise that we can only expect from a stalwart Jewish mother.

Here are some of the bills she is likely to propose:

- Homemade chicken soup available for doctors to prescribe free on the NHS. Obviously.

- Abolition of tattoo parlours. Body 'art' never makes anyone look more attractive.

- CCTV cameras installation in all parents' homes for effective monitoring of the whereabouts of their children. Forever.

- Obligatory lessons for all would-be parents focusing on cooking, keeping warm and effective use of emotional blackmail.

- Free parking for all mothers, anytime, anywhere.

- Free hairdressing vouchers for all pensioners. Good grooming is paramount, particularly for senior citizens.

- Compulsory call times alloted in the work place for children to call their parents.

Additions to the Esther Rantzen Governement bill proposals are welcome.

November 24, 2016 22:51

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