Egg butties and Hitler

November 24, 2016 22:53

Scene: A father talking to his 10-year-old son in the front room of a house somewhere in the UK last week.

dad: "come here, son"

son: "yes, dad, what do you want?"

dad: "i want to teach you something"

son: "what, dad?

dad: "ok, stand straight. Hold out your right arm straight in front of you"

son: "ok. Like this?"

dad: "yes. hand straight following the arm. That's right. Now, raise the arm in the air a bit"

son: "like this?

dad: "keep your upper arm still and your forearm and hand straight. Now touch your heart with the right hand"

son: "how many times?

dad: "at least three times each go"

son: "what's this for, dad?

dad: "It's complicated but basically Spurs fans are all Jews. Hitler hated Jews and so this is his salute"

son: "when should i do this then?"

dad: "when we are at the match next wednesday Spurs fans might start singing about 'going to Wembley'. Do it towards them then. Ok?"

son: "Ok, dad"

dad: "Oh, as you are a bit small they won't see you so stand on your seat when you do it"

son: "will do, dad. Thanks, dad"

At about 9.30pm last night, just after Spurs had scored their second goal against Leeds, I was unlucky enough to witness this boy perform these salutes to perfection.

Hitler would have been proud of him.

November 24, 2016 22:53

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