(12A)

This truly awful film, which has working-class brothers Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell committing murder at the behest of their wealthy uncle, is the third British-made Woody Allen movie. The first, Match point, was indifferent; Scoop was only released by DVD pirates in North London; and it would have been a real kindness if this latest effort had failed to get a distribution deal. If you admire the superb Allen classics like Manhattan, Hannah and her Sisters and Radio Days, do yourself a favour and miss Cassandra’s Dream, which emerges as an unhappy blend of 1950s British B-feature thriller and sub-EastEnders family melodrama.

Clearly Allen feels driven to keep on making movies, regardless of whether anyone actually wants to see them. On this evidence, it is high time for him to quit, rather than continue to sully his legacy of great films.