The estimable Jonathan Hoffman has come up with an appropriate response to the UCU's boycott vote - this memo to Sally Hunt, General Secretary of the University and College Union.

Dear Ms Hunt

Please forward this email to the 158 members of your union who voted for the boycott motion on Thursday 30th May. They are clearly highly principled people -- so they will want to be consistent. They will therefore wish to boycott all Israeli products, including those in the field of medical technology. You may wish to suggest to the 158 that they print off this email and sign and date the declaration below, giving a copy to their GP, providing one to their next of kin and keeping one about their person, in case of a medical emergency. Where about their person they might wish to secrete it is up to them, but suggestions can be provided.

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"I [insert name here] declare that if admitted to hospital I do not want to receive any Zionist medical treatment developed in Israel or by Israelis, wherever in the world they may reside. This includes in particular the miniaturised, self-propelling, self-navigating and disposable colonoscopic camera called the Aer-O-Scope.

This Zionist technology was developed by Ben Goldwasser who founded the Israeli startup company GI-View in 2003. The Aer-O-Scope uses a balloon and air pressure to carry a miniature camera though the bowel. The camera boasts a feature called Omnivision - which enables 360 degree viewing of the colon, including inside hard-to-see folds where polyps tend to grow. A study, published as the cover story in the March 2006 issue of the medical journal Gastroentology, reported that in trials conducted in , the device made it through the entire length of the colon in 10 of 12 people. According to Professor Nadir Arber, head of the Department for Cancer Prevention at the Tel Aviv Sourasky Medical Center, and president of GI View's scientific advisory board, the Aer-O-Scope provides images comparable with those of a standard colonoscopy, but with virtually none of the discomfort. The idea of using a camera in a device that moves through the colon is not new, according to Goldwasser, who trained at Duke and the Mayo Clinic before becoming professor and chairman of the department of urology at

Tel Hashomer Medical Center in the 1980s. "The reason others failed is because they tried to think of motion in a classical sense - as motion created by traction - whether it's traction on the ground when you're walking or traction on the road," he explained. "The colon is covered with mucous - which makes it slippery, much like ice. And like walking on ice, you have to glide. So the idea of the motion balloon came to us.

If you have a balloon that can change its shape and diameter according to the changing shape of a colon, it could work like a piston inside an engine's cylinder. Just like a cylinder is driven by the air pressure, if you take a balloon that accommodates to the size and shape of the area it's in, it can be driven forward." The device consists of a disposal unit with a rectal introducer, supply cable and scope contained within a scanning balloon, plus an automated console that directs the action under the guidance of a technician. The operator introduces the device into the rectum, and presses the forward button on the control panel. First the rectal balloon is inflated and then the scanner balloon with the embedded electro optical capsule is inflated. Pressure sensors within the workstation continuously measure the pressure inside, in front of and behind the scanner balloon. The console computer automatically controls the pressure in all three compartments and ensures that the balloon moves forward at the lowest possible pressure.

At any time during the forward or reverse motion of the scanner balloon, the operator may press the pause or stop buttons. Pause can be used to gain a better look with the camera or to change the direction of balloon motion. Stop can be used to instantly deflate all compartments, for instance if the patient requests a rest.

Should I need a colonoscopy, I wish it to be known that on no account should this Zionist procedure be used for me, painless though it is. I would like instead to have the former procedure used on me, namely a cold, large (2 feet long) and painful (made of steel) anal probe shoved up my rectum. If the pain gets too much, just give me some painkillers - provided they were not made or developed by Zionists ..........

Yours sincerely

(signature + date)"