Opinion
A Frightening Judgment
The whole Jewish community should express disapproval of a court's decision to prevent a transgender parent having contact with her children
February 9, 2017 13:20
2 min read
The whole Jewish community should express disapproval of a court's decision to prevent a transgender parent having contact with her children
February 9, 2017 13:20A judgement was published last week from the family courts detailing a transgender woman’s application to have contact with her five children. Her application was denied, on the basis that the community her children live in, the Charedi community in Manchester would harm her children if they had contact with her.
Much about this case is striking and the outcome was unusual. Family courts in this country have a strong presumption that contact with parents is beneficial to children. Only in the presence of parental abuse would a judge be expected to sever contact between a child and their parent. Even parents who have abused their children and partners are usually granted contact; sometimes professionally supervised or supported contact to promote the safety of the children, but direct contact nonetheless.
The words of the judge are telling. There is no risk to the children from this transgender woman that should prohibit contact. No, the risk of harm is from the Jewish community in which they live. Any injury towards these innocent young people will be from their peers and the adults who should know better, in the form of harassment, exclusion, and ultimately rejection.
This risk was found to be greater than the risk posed by the scores of violent men in this country having contact with their children. And feeling powerless to change the Jewish community circumstances of these five children, the judge instead has forcibly removed a parent from their lives.
Many have commented on the ‘balanced’ approach by the judge. But what balance is possible where a Jewish community threatens to stigmatise children to show their disapproval of their transgender parent? What is balanced about cynical adults playing the system with a knowing wink – "of course we wouldn’t bully the children ourselves, but there is nothing we can do to stop it". Where is the balance in a world where the response to threatened (sometimes illegal) behaviours of a hostile community is to grant them their wishes?
This Jewish community sought to demonstrate that harm could come to these children if the judge did not prevent contact with their loving non-resident parent. The judge did as they demanded, not wanting to call their bluff, for fear of the children coming to harm. That none of the professionals involved could conceive of a single way to maintain safe contact between these children and both their parents is shocking, and betrays a lack of imagination.
This is a frightening judgment. It reflects the frightening reality for many LGBT+ people and their families in our community and our country. This judgment was only possible because of transphobic intimidation in a part of our Jewish world. Does Judaism not have another way for us to live?
The whole Jewish community should now state that this decision was not necessary, that it is possible to lead a fulfilled Jewish life and be LGBT+, or have contact with LGBT+ family members, that we care for and value all our children regardless of sexuality or gender. If this is not fully true throughout our community yet, let us work together and make it so.
Alma Reisel is a social worker and a trustee of KeshetUK
