Mention Canada to British people and you will get one of two responses - either: "It's very cold there" or "Mmm, maple syrup". Despite the fact that winter temperatures can sink to minus 30°C and it is quite hard (and to be frank, pretty pointless) to avoid maple syrup in Canada, these reactions reflect quite badly on the British.
I point this out because I have just returned from Calgary, located in the Canadian West, very near the Rocky Mountains, which is a place you might want to visit if you happen to have a brother, a sister-in-law and three nieces living there (as I do).
The most important thing to know is that Canada is not the USA - not even slightly - even though to the naked eye and the untrained ear it looks and sounds just like its neighbour. The next thing you need to be aware of is that it is necessary to fly there, which is fine unless aviation sends you into a complete panic. I investigated alternative ways.
I thought it might be possible to get the boat to Greenland, then skidoo across the polar ice-cap before joining up with Canadian Pacific railway for the last part of the journey, but apparently this is impossible unless your name is Michael Palin.
So I got the plane. I was in the air for nine hours - this means that after the white-knuckle, terror-inducing take-off, there was an eight-and-a-half hour period of feeling slightly uneasy before the white-knuckle, fear-inducing landing and subsequent kissing of the (rather chilly) Canadian soil in celebration of still being alive.
Some people who are scared of flying might balk at spending a total of 18 hours in the air in a single week. I, however, did not mind because the compensations of being in Canada were so great.
You get to see things that don't happen in this country. For example, when the temperature slips below zero and the snow starts to fall, rush hour traffic carries on moving as if nothing has happened - weird!
Then there is supermarket shopping. Supermarkets in Calgary are all approximately the size of Hendon. The cheese aisle alone is around a quarter of a mile long and can supply all your cheese needs - as long as what you need is lots of different types of processed cheese.
Then there are Canadian houses. They tend to be large, detached, have a double garage at the front and look much like one another which can be a problem if you go for a run around the block and then attempt to find your way back to your brother's house, having, say, forgotten both the house number and the name of the road.
Thankfully this being Canada , there are packs of St Bernards carrying little barrels of Canadian Club whisky for the benefit of inappropriately dressed British joggers.
There are some quirks about life in Calgary. For example, of the million people who live there, 950,000 are ice hockey fans but there is only one hockey team - the Flames. On the other hand, there are only 8,000 Jews but there are three synagogues. They should play each other at ice hockey - maybe they do.
I have to say that on the whole, life is better here in London - particularly if you, like me, prefer small portion sizes, sullen service, regular precipitation and small fridges. Still, if I find myself missing Canada I have plenty of maple syrup to keep me going until my next trip.