At that moment, many of the released hostages begin to grasp who is not waiting for them. “It's all about pull – you don't volunteer any bitter news. But if the person asks, then you don't lie about it.”
One woman, Cohen recalled, had been out of captivity for five hours before she asked about her husband, who had been murdered on October 7.
“We prepare their families and say they could come back with any reaction. It could be anywhere along the spectrum – being angry, numb, euphoric – there’s no right or wrong emotion. The key is to accept and not assume anything.
“Respect the hostage’s defence mechanisms, give them credit. Often our souls know what they’re doing,” Cohen added.
The head of Israel’s Hostage Debrief Team, Glenn Cohen, says that world Jewry should learn from the strength of the released hostages (photo: Cohen)[Missing Credit]
In the hospital, as well as extensive physical medical examinations, the psychological support begins in earnest, and the hostages can choose how much they want to talk about what happened in Gaza – and when they want to do it.
An important step is for the hostages to regain a feeling of control over their lives. “We start empowering them, letting them decide what they want to eat, when they want to eat. We do not treat them like victims, pity them, or do things for them.”
Not treating the released hostages as victims is a crucial part of Cohen’s message: “They’re survivors,” and they are far stronger than anyone could have imagined, he stressed.
“Everybody’s expecting to see people barely surviving – crushed, unable to walk or talk – and for everybody to look like they’ve come out of the Holocaust.
“Captivity is hell; it is a traumatic experience. But these people proved to us how much resilience, ingenuity and ability to cope we all have ... These people were put to the test, and they proved that we can cope with the worst-case scenario, even captivity.”
For Cohen, the resilience he observes is profoundly human and distinctly Jewish: “Resilience is in our DNA. It’s in our collective consciousness. The Jewish people have been enduring and adapting for thousands of years. This is who we are.”
Yet this also challenges long-held assumptions about what it means to be taken hostage. Some people say they would rather die than be captured. Cohen understands the instinct but rejects the premise.
“We imagine captivity as the worst possible fate, worse even than death,” he said. “But that clouds our perception. It’s simply not true. I met 168 hostages who went through hell and came back, and not one of them said they would rather have died.”
Indeed, he says one of the greatest challenges surrounding the hostage crisis is this public perception of captivity itself. Formerly the head of psychology for the Mossad, Cohen trained Israel's top commandos in prisoner-of-war scenarios.
Hostage Bar Kupershtein arrives at Chaim Sheba Medical Centre at Tel HaShomer on October 13 in Ramat Gan. (Photo by Alexi J. Rosenfeld/Getty Images)Getty Images
“One of the things I always ask soldiers: what's your association with captivity? Almost everybody assumes better be dead than be in captivity, that’s the working assumption.
“People are affected by that perception, and they act accordingly. Everything starts with our perception, and perception dictates behaviour ... if your perception is ‘Better dead than in captivity’, then you make a plan to kill yourself.”
Then the mind plays tricks on what captivity must look like – and misinformation spreads. For example, false rumours that every woman held captive in Gaza had been raped.
Coupled with this are dangerous misunderstandings about IDF practices.
Cohen saw this distortion play out in real time: “I heard on national television a tank commander explaining how on October 7 he saw a pick-up truck taking hostages towards Gaza. He gave the order to fire a shell. He said, ‘Because I know that they are better off dead than being captive,’ about these civilians.”
This was a misunderstanding of the Hannibal Directive, which allows the use of force to prevent soldiers from being taken into captivity.
"The Hannibal procedure is only about soldiers. [The commander] extrapolated in his mind two things ... and he went against the Hannibal procedure.”
Despite this deep-seated fear of captivity, Cohen said the belief that every hostage would be brought home was essential to Israel’s strength. For him, the immense psychological cost of hostage-taking underlines why it was so important for Israel to bring every hostage back.
“Every soldier knows when he crosses into enemy territory on a mission that the country will do everything possible to bring him back. And that, in my mind, is part of the IDF's secret sauce.”
The disappearance of Israeli Air Force officer Ron Arad in 1986 and the capture of Gilad Shalit in 2006 “took a toll on the soldiers’ morale,” Cohen said, “which is more important than an F-35 [fighter jet].”
Against that morale – the lifeblood of the nation and its army – the release of terrorists, he argued, is a price worth paying. “I always felt that the price of not bringing them back is a higher price.”
Not everyone agrees. Zvika Mor, whose son Eitan was among the 20 men freed last Monday, has argued that releasing terrorists was a recipe for more violence. Some soldiers share that view: “There are those who say, ‘If I fall into captivity, don’t release terrorists for me.’ Some even write it down and make their friends swear,” Cohen said.
“But as a psychologist, I believe national morale is paramount.”
Released hostage Eitan Mor arrives at Beilinson hospital. (Photo Getty)Flash90
That principle is not just psychological but also Jewish, Cohen adds. “The ethos of ‘Leave no one behind’ – pidyon shvuyim – as the most important commandment, according to Maimonides, goes back to Abraham and his nephew, Lot, and saving him from captivity. This is so deeply rooted in our Jewish and Israeli culture.”
The return of the remaining captives, he said, is also essential for the recovery of those already released.
Nonetheless, Cohen, whose message throughout is that the human mind is capable of immense resilience when put to the test, believes that “quite a few” of the released hostages will never see therapists and that the vast majority will not develop PTSD.
He draws a historical parallel with Holocaust survivors: “Many survivors never spoke about the horrors they witnessed ... These days, there is much more awareness and openness,” he said, “but there are still similarities in how people choose to cope.”
Cohen credits the hostages' mental strength and their remarkable ability to grow from the darkest place imaginable. For some, God was the way they survived the tunnels.
“In the second deal in February, we saw a lot of people who hadn't been religious before, praying every day, fasting on Yom Kippur, keeping Shabbat and making up prayers, because they were not familiar with them [before they were taken hostage] and were really interacting with God.”
Several of the hostages had read Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning, Cohen said, and “they thought about him while they were 60 metres underground in the tunnels and that helped them cope ... There is a higher level of consciousness if you’re willing to admit it.
“It's not necessarily belief in God, but you’ve got to believe in something bigger than yourself.”
Avinatan Or (Picture: Yossi Aloni/Flash90)Flash90
This will be the subject of Cohen’s new book, which he is still working on, about the hostages’ situation and what he calls “post-traumatic growth”.
The subject is also the focus of talks he delivers to Jewish communities across the globe.
“My mission now is to bring hope and resilience to Jewish communities around the world. We're stronger and more resilient than we think we might be.”
Amid the rising tide of antisemitism, Cohen believes the world’s Jewry should “draw inspiration from Israel, and realise that Israel and Jews, we've had the same DNA – and we are strong.”
He added: “October 7 was a terrible tragedy, but it's also a big gift for us to realise that we're able to deal with the worst things.”
To invite Glenn Cohen to speak, visit www.glenn-cohen.com
Cohen was invited to the UK by the World Zionist Organisation (WZO), to find out more about their work, visit https://www.wzo.org.il//en
