“It was very hard for him. He became even more nervous. He went to a psychiatrist who told him that it was the natural way the body responds to returning to the battlefield,” she added.
Meir’s second round of reserve duty lasted until the end of March 2024. The back pain he developed from days of driving his tank grew worse and he was diagnosed with a herniated disc. Within three months, he could no longer work and was walking with a cane. With the nerves in his spine affected, Meir required emergency surgery.
After completing rehabilitation in the hospital, Meir returned home to await a September appointment with a psychiatrist.
“Between the periods of reserve service, he developed trouble sleeping. After the surgery, he couldn’t sleep at all,” Shira told the JC. “He was shaking. He couldn’t finish his sentences, it was very shocking to see. He spent most of his time in bed, taking prescribed Clonex (a medication used to treat anxiety disorder) and other pills to survive.
“Although the kids were home on summer vacation, he needed me all the time. Kids make noise, they scream, they cry, they throw things, they jump on the sofa. I don’t know how we made it through those three weeks,” she said.
Meir and Shira and their children[Missing Credit]
After meeting with the psychiatrist, the diagnosis was clear: Meir had all the symptoms of PTSD. “For both of us, it was a relief – now we had a name for it,” said Shira.
Soon after, Shira reached her breaking point and lashed out at Meir, telling him she was fed up. Meir left the house, saying he was heading to Beit Halochem in Jerusalem, a centre for wounded soldiers. Instead, he went to a bar and began drinking.
“That’s when he started telling me that he wasn’t worth anything, that his life had no value and that I would be better off without him,” Shira said. “I understood where this was going. I asked my mother-in-law to come be with the kids and I went to look for him all over Jerusalem.”
When Shira finally found Meir, his face was expressionless. The next day, he attended a previously scheduled follow-up with his psychiatrist.
“He told the doctor that if it happened again, he wouldn’t ask for help,” Shira said. “The psychiatrist then determined that he was a danger to himself and needed to be hospitalised.”
Meir spent nine months in treatment.
“It was a long and complex time for him – a process during which you can’t run away; you have to face it all and deal with yourself,” Shira said. “It was hard for the children. Last year, he spent a lot of time in the reserves, and now he had essentially disappeared.”
In June, Meir was discharged from the facility and is now home.
“Every morning is a struggle for Meir, who faces each day with the courage to wake up and fight to come back to life, refusing to let the pain and depression take over. The sense of danger is still with him. At a restaurant, he must choose a seat with a wall behind it and a clear view of the entire room. He still cannot go to crowded places or the supermarket. He really tries,” Shira said.
Meir told the JC that, while he had not experienced a dramatic incident with comrades killed or wounded in action, he came close several times during engagements involving anti-tank missiles and car bombs.
“For example, while driving my tank once, I came very close to running over two soldiers – it was averted at the last minute. The scenario of how it could have ended keeps repeating in my head,” Meir said.
“We live in a world of uncertainty. We don’t know what will happen in the next minute, hour, or day. We live under constant threat, in a reality where control is lost. For me, it’s hard to live with – it tore me apart inside,” he added.
The Israeli Defence Ministry’s Rehabilitation Department announced Sunday that it has treated roughly 20,000 soldiers since the start of the Gaza war, triggered by Hamas’s massacre of 1,200 Israelis. More than half of those treated are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and other mental health conditions.
Shira emphasised the importance of sharing one’s struggles with family and friends and following through with treatment.“It’s not easy, but I see the results. The fact that Meir agreed to take part in this interview is encouraging. The treatment is very difficult, and it’s not always easy to see the progress, but little by little, it yields results,” she added.
In her efforts to support her husband and care for her children, Shira credited the NGO Spreading Your Wings (Lifros Kanaf), which has aided wounded IDF soldiers and their families since October 7, with giving her the strength to care for others.
“The organisation has been around for eight years,” said Lior Benisty, CEO of Spread Your Wings and a reservist officer in the IDF casualties unit, in charge of notifying the families of the loss of their loved one. “It currently supports 300 soldiers and their family members.”
“We should do everything we can to save every person who can be saved, care for their wellbeing, and support their recovery. That’s what drives me,” he continued. “I want to be part of the solution and strengthen societal solidarity in Israel. Hopefully, we can reach more people, be approached by more wounded soldiers, and help them return to as normal a life as possible.”
Among the sources of his strength, Meir cited his wife Shira and the motivation that comes from her needing him. He told the JC that he might one day return to reserve duty, with her support. “I strongly believe in the need to protect the country. My comrades are doing the fighting, and I want to be with them,” he said.
“Despite the difficulties it has caused me, it’s important to stand by their side and take part in the fight. I will not answer this call-up, probably not the next one, but someday it will happen. I want it to be my choice.”
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