Sport
Oakwood A cup final pen pics
Oakwood are just 90 minutes away from retaining the Cyril Anekstein Cup. Once again, Hendon United Sports stand in their way. Here, we get the low-down on the Oakwood squad.
April 10, 2019 14:20
Oakwood are just 90 minutes away from retaining the Cyril Anekstein Cup. Once again, Hendon United Sports stand in their way. Here, we get the low-down on the Oakwood squad.
April 10, 2019 14:20JOE BOTCHIN (Goalkeeper) - Hero in last year’s final when he came into his own in the penalty shoot-out. Resident spieler. Saves like De Gea. Kicks like your little sister!
JAMES HILLER (Goalkeeper) - A new signing this year for the Oaks but the jury is still out as to whether he’s signed on as a player or as a photographer. Iphone camera over Huawei any day. Top fella
LEE WARNER (Left-back) - Loves to play football the right way and will often be fighting with himself if it’s not going to plan.Fancies himself as a set-piece specialist. His team-mates agree, he is vitally important defending set-pieces.
ALEX LEE (Centre-half) – Built like the (Jewish) Incredible Hulk, he stampedes forward, terrifying anyone who dares cross his path. He’ll outpace anyone and outjump everyone, even on one ankle.
DALE BRADMAN (Centre-half) – Mr Reliable. Loves playing out from the back and striding forward, often in Alex’s wake. A real ball-playing centre-half and an organiser.
TOM CANTOR (Centre-half) - Known for his enviable first touch, Tom has been an ever-present Oak, if selected, and has always impressed, unlike his brother. Even cameoed at CM this year – he really is like Claude Makélélé.
HARVEY KAYE (Right-back) - Marauding defender is back to his best this year and has a knack of popping up with crucial goals. Did you know Harvey Kaye did an Iron Man? Running and running week in week out, sometimes with the ball and sometimes without.
SIMON DAVIES (Centre-half) – “Skip” has seen it all and done it all. From modelling to LinkedIn videos, he is perhaps the most free-ranging centre-half in the Maccabi League.
KYLE BENTWOOD (CDM) – Continues to be the heartbeat of this Oakwood side. When he’s missing, they’re lost…and no one supports from the side line. A genuine leader on and off the pitch; but mainly on.
TOBY LEVY (Midfield) – Like Beckham and Giggs in their later years, Toby has moved inside to help form the three-man
midfield, despite being immobile and only 5ft 5. Give him the ball at his feet though ...
JOSH CUBY (Free role) – As quick as Usain Bolt, his team-mates still wonder how there’s 11 better Gibraltarian footballers than this lad. Entrepreneur, social-media influencer and absolute legend – he’s got it all. Blink and you’ll miss him.
BRAD WINE (Midfield) – His celebrations were cut short last year by a visit to Watford General after dislocating his
finger, so he’ll be raring to go at Wingate. One of Oakwood’s all-time greats.
DANIEL SELIGMAN (not sure where he plays) - Idolises Harvey Kaye; his strength, his fitness and more than anything, his stamina. It's safe to say Harvey is Seligman's hero.
LOUIE LIBBERT (not sure where he plays either) - I'm told his name is spelt correctly and it isn't indeed a typo; the -e- is not meant to be an -s-. Played a handful of games for the As this year and almost topped off his last appearance with a goal of the season contender... but he didn't.
LUKE BROOKNER (Midfield) - Luke has negotiated a fantastic contract with Oakwood to suit his film star schedule. He enjoys all the jobs people don’t – a modern day Mr Muscle if you will. Chief ratter.
JOSH GELLMAN (Midfield) - Oakwood’s newest addition from the Manchester branch, Josh has the best social record in the club with a 100 per cent attendance rate.
JOSH BHARIER (Striker) – This season’s marquee signing, Has been a shining light to Oakwood this year, not just on the pitch but spiritually, too. Strong as an ox; committed to the cause.
SAM CANTOR (Striker) - Who? The forgotten man, predominantly due to injuries. But when fit, give him the ball and he will score. Si senor!
DAVID WOOLMAN (Striker) - Wooly sponsored the kits hoping for increased game time but DK had other ideas. Wooly brought his brother in law into the club hoping for increased game time but DK had other ideas. Oakwood wouldn’t change him for the world. Mensch.
DAVID COHEN (Gaffer/Right-back) - Mr Flipchart can be seen raiding his company’s boardroom on a Friday afternoon furiously scribbling set=piece instructions down. Seamlessly transitioned from number 2 right back to number 2 coach.
DAN KRISTALL (Gaffer) - DK would bring a squad of 22 each and every week if he could – and that’s not a joke. Puts more hours into Oakwood than into his own business – again, not a joke. Oakwood wouldn’t be here without him.
RIC BLANK (Chairman) - Rumour has it Ric has been attending lower league MSFL games to educate his son, Louis, about the game. Ric eats, sleeps and breathes Oakwood. His wife’s thrilled.
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