Braun’s response was often to turn to religion.
“I would get close to God, pray and study and tell myself ‘I got this!’ And then I would have another child, which would sort of fence me in even more. I was in a state of depression. I was truly at a place where I was ready to either take my life or come out.”
During this period Braun and his wife Shoni were celebrated members of the Chicago Jewish community. While she volunteered in community bikur cholim (the mitzvah for visiting and helping the sick and vulnerable), he was the vice president of a major mortgage company. Yet he still found time for daily Torah study sessions at Chicago Community Kollel and also became deeply involved with the Chicago Torah Network (CTN). At a “gala brunch” attended by former vice president nominee Senator Joe Lieberman, who died last year, the CTN awarded the husband and wife its Builders of The Future Award. They were in many ways a poster couple in the community, which takes us up to that fateful Shabbat evening when he told her that he was gay.
“I sort of told her without game planning it,” he says. “But I did the best I could. It was a Friday night and I shared this burden that’s been sitting on me. [I said] ‘I need to tell you because if I don’t it could be a big problem.’ I didn’t even say the word ‘gay’. I just said I was attracted to men. She started crying.
Clara Francis, Ilan Galkoff and Ben Caplan in Faygele (Photo: Michael Wharley)[Missing Credit]
“‘What does that mean? That you want to leave me?’ she said. I said no, and that I don’t know what it means. I just needed to share that with you.”
However, after a period of therapy the couple did get divorced and Braun pivoted his work life to providing the LGBTQ community, instead of to strictly Orthodox folk – many of whom had stopped using his services – with mortgages.
But, at the same time, he began to allow another suppressed part of his life to emerge: writing. He co-wrote the book for the off-Broadway show Five: The Parody Musical, a spoof about Donald Trump and his wives inspired by the British hit musical Six, about Henry VIII’s spouses.
The rabbi in this show is actually the kindest character. He champions the boy and lets him come to his house when his parents get very critical of him
Which brings us back to his new play Faygele.
As a well as starring Galkoff, who has appeared on stage as Adrian Mole, in the West End in Backstairs Billy and on screen in The Tattooist of Auschwitz, the play’s cast includes Ben Caplan as Ari’s stern father, the man who denounces his own son at his bar mitzvah.
“What inspired me to write the play was that when I came out there was a real struggle to balance religion, faith, family and my identity. People started coming out to me. I was hearing so many different stories and some of them were painful to the point that there were teenagers taking their lives. So I really wanted to tell a story that would touch the ultra Orthodox Jewish experience within the LGBTQ community.”
However, according to Braun, the play takes a much more nuanced position on his former community’s attitudes than you might assume.
“Absolutely. That’s why the rabbi in this show is actually the kindest character. He’s Ari’s biggest supporter. He champions the boy and lets him come to his house when his parents get very critical of him. The antagonist is the father who found Orthodoxy later in life,” says Braun.
The mother (Clara Francis), meanwhile, is pregnant with her 12th child. She loves Ari but she has a lot on her plate. And Ari’s parents are not Braun’s.
“My father, God bless him, is ultra Orthodox and when I came out he said to me, ‘There’s nothing you could tell me that’ll make me love you any less.’ He’s the one who has been OK with meeting my boyfriend. He’s been so wonderful.”
Still, there are Orthodox Jewish attitudes on which Braun hopes Faygele will have some influence, not least those held by some rabbis he has known.
They include “some of the greatest rabbis in the Orthodox world” who “just don’t know anything [about being gay].
“They don’t talk to gay people; gay people don’t come out to them, and they are naive. One great rabbi I knew didn’t even know what the word homophobic meant. So it is important to me to try to educate.”
But is the strictly Orthodox community whom Braun so wants to inform likely to see the play? He is confident that they will.
“I did readings in New York to which straight, gay, older, younger, black, white and ultra Orthodox people come, including an Orthodox rabbi. They were incredibly moved by it. I do think that most ultra Orthodox people know a gay person. It might be their friend’s child, their own child or a relative or a cousin. And they do want to learn more. But this play isn’t a lesson by any means. It’s a story. Though it is reflective of the Orthodox Jewish world that it has never been represented on stage. We’re an under-represented group!”
Braun believes that that as word gets out people from his former community will want to see the play, “or read about it or talk about it or hear about it”. If the production is filmed some may end up seeing a version of it at home on their computer.
“So, one way or another, yes, I am confident it will reach and make some noise in that world.”
And what of Braun’s ex wife, Shoni? “We have a good relationship,” he says. “We don’t hang out but we parent.”
Is she seeing anyone? “Yes, she has been dating someone now for a few years.” From within the Orthodox community? “Actually, no. None of my children stayed in the Orthodox community, and she didn’t either. It’s interesting. isn’t it?”
It certainly is. Another play, perhaps.
Faygele is at the Marylebone Theatre until May 31
The JC is hosting an exclusive showing of Faygele and Q & A with the cast on 20 May. Tickets can be purchased at: go.thejc.com/faygele
