People don’t seem to be voting as much as they used to. Apparently, in today’s busy world there are too many rival attractions, the implication being that in days gone by voters were glad of a visit to the polling booth just to break the monotony of putting wet clothes through the mangle and spreading dripping on their toast.
It seems ironic to me that while in many countries around the world people are fighting and dying for the right to vote, we in this country can’t be bothered unless there’s the chance to win a Ford Focus or a holiday in Barbados.
This is not the only area of life which is becoming incentivised (what a fantastic word that is).
If you were watching the third of Vanessa Engle’s BBC4 documentary series, Jews, a couple of weeks ago you will have seen that millionaire philanthropist Jonathan Faith was offering £20 a time for adults to go to Jewish studies classes, on the basis that even if their intention was just to trouser the money and sit at the back of the class daydreaming, they might just find themselves becoming interested in the subject and return to Judaism. A series of six lectures would net you £120 — almost enough for a kosher meal for one.
The more I think about it the better the idea seems. In years gone by people paid for newspapers. Now, we are accosted in the streets by news vendors begging us to take a free paper or magazine. If you were determined enough, you could collect enough free newsprint in a day to start your own recycling plant.
It may be counter-intuitive but there may come a day when we are paid to buy newspapers. Imagine how quickly you would rush out to get your subscription to Printer Cartridge Times or What Car if they paid you £20 a year to take the product. Advertisers would flock to them. Imagine how excited the egg marketing board would be to get their message out to the 2.5 new million readers of Egg Cup World.
Soon there may be a living to be made in doing things that one used to do for free. Look a few years into the future and this could be a typical working day:
9am: Wake up, have breakfast (probably a soft boiled egg with toast soldiers in one of my many new egg cups); read Doily Mail and Industrial Adhesives Today, before adding them to the pile of free periodicals to be delivered to my new recycling factory.
11am: Attend first Jewish studies class of the day.
Midday: Pop into the supermarket to get something for lunch — take advantage of the “get one free, then get another one free” offers.
2pm: Drive to polling booth in new Ford Focus to vote.
4pm: Take out subscription to Mikveh Monthly, attend Jewish studies class on brit milah (followed by a little snack).
5pm: Paid-for focus group meeting to discuss attitudes towards printer cartridges. As a world authority on the subject I am elected group leader and therefore get extra cash.
7pm: Attend shacharit at Jonathan Faith’s synagogue. Have to bash several old ladies out the way to get in. There are 20,000 in the shul which has been built specially on the site of what used to be Tottenham’s White Hart Lane Stadium. Very moving service. Pocket £50.
9pm: Back home to register for TV licence prize draw.
10pm: In bed with a copy of Insomnia Tonight. Asleep in two minutes.