As The Chief Rabbi’s Schools Review highlighted when it came out last year, there is a gap between Jewish education at school and Jewish family life. Bridging this gap is what organisations such as Seed have been investing in for over a decade.
While children are rightly taught in school key Jewish practices, such as kashrut and Shabbat, these are often not (fully) part of the child’s home life. In Jewish thought, schools are not meant to replace the parents’ educational responsibility. Schools are partners with parents, but the reality is not always in line with this.
The gap is a natural product of the Jewish schools’ boom. According to the schools survey Seed did a couple of years ago, in which hundreds of families from our partner schools responded to questions, some of the key factors behind this boom were improved Jewish schools and parents’ wish to impart Jewish values.
But while many parents appreciate the importance of and their children’s love for Jewish studies – while practices such as candle-lighting and Shabbat songs are adorable and encouraged (and often a Jewish step-up for some) – fully keeping Shabbat and kosher are often seen as going “too far”.
Schools do an incredible job of providing exciting opportunities to express Jewish identity through education – Shabbatons, Chanukah lightings – and children love it. But there is only so much the school can do to plant Jewish education without the family nurturing that soil at home.
The gap can be frustrating for teachers – a Jewish studies teacher is not simply imparting information, they are inspiring and cultivating love for a lifestyle; and practice is a core part of that.
Teachers are often stuck between the fact that topics must be taught – to do otherwise would be to ignore core Jewish practices – and acknowledging that these may not end up finding expression in the life of the child. Arguably, this could even undermine Jewish education. In teaching things the children cannot practise at home, do we risk the child hearing the message: “Judaism is a bunch of rules that we ignore?”
For teachers, there is a medium to be found between dryly informing and overly preaching. Too much preachiness can prove counter-productive. Yet, to convey no importance to the subject at hand can shortchange it.
Can teachers offer small steps that children are able to follow at home? A teacher might explain they are going to teach what halachah mandates in order to keep a kosher home. But then, could they suggest some smaller steps that are more achievable if a child does not live in a home that observes kashrut?
Take not mixing milk and meat, waiting between milk and meat, not eating non-kosher meat. They are all values in keeping with halachah. Is it acceptable for teachers sensitively to suggest to parents that the Jewish education their child receives at school would have so much more impact if the parents joined that Jewish journey alongside their child? I would argue yes.
Crucially, it must be noted that while lack of home practice can be demotivating for teachers, there is huge value for them in being a role model for students, conveying how much they care about Judaism. Sometimes, that will result in practice down the line, but at the very least, the student’s reciprocal deep care and reverence are valuable.
For parents, there is a huge difference between a child hearing: “This is not important, we don’t do this”, and: “This is so important; we are just not ready to fully adopt it yet. Maybe, one day, we will.”
In the case of the former, you dismiss the Jewish practice. In the case of the latter, you encourage it. Even better if you can adopt it in a small way. It shows you care.
Rabbi Daniel Fine is Seed’s director of education and author of the book Building Blocks
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