There have been 44 different England shirts since the World Cup was won in 1966 and on Saturday, March 28, a 45th will be unveiled. The shirt design is a closely protected secret so that even the senior member of the England coaching staff I spoke to about it last week, could not reveal the precise details.
Years of intuitive journalistic digging have paid off, however, and I can now divulge the news that gullible suckers everywhere have been waiting for.
Drum roll. It’s white. Well, what did you expect for 50 quid? It turns out Charlie Allen, a bespoke tailor based in Islington, was dispatched by the Football Association to the National Football Museum in Preston for design inspiration. Seems a long way to go to find out that England play in white. Still, we live and learn.
The new strip goes on sale on April 1, so do your own jokes there, but just as predictable as the choice of colour is the palaver there is going to be when that day dawns.
You know the sort of thing. Rip-off Britain, greedy FA fleecing the fans, parents under pressure in these times of recession, have they no shame? To which there is one answer and it is a very simple one. Don’t buy it. There is no obligation. There is no gun to your head. Walk away, walk on, put the Visa card down, folks, nothing to see here.
Amazingly, when England won the World Cup it was not considered necessary for everybody in Wembley stadium to be wearing the same shirt as Geoff Hurst. They were no less passionate in those days, no less committed, it was just the view that football outfits were for, well, footballers and the crowd provided its own wardrobe.
This stuff never used to matter, you see. Who remembers that England’s third strip in 1973 was yellow or that victory over Czechoslovakia was achieved in 1970 wearing pale blue?
And, yes, it was the clubs that altered our perception of the required attire for a game, turning supporters into dedicated followers of ever-changing fashion, but at any time we can reclaim the old ways.
There is a lot of nonsense talked about consumerism in modern society as if an Amex card acts as a siphon which draws off free will. Any parent that does not have the moral or mental strength to refuse a 10-year-old on the grounds that money is tight has problems that extend far beyond a football kit. Any adult that is so desperate to belong to the herd that he spends beyond his means, the same.
In an ideal world all clubs and countries would be identified by one set of colours, and a second strip, that did not change from one decade to the next. Yet while Liverpool can find fresh ways to rework red, red, red, and England can contrive shades of white, football’s catwalk will continue, and while we carry on buying, they will carry on selling.
Martin Samuel is the chief sports writer of the Daily Mail, where his column appears on Monday and Wednesday