Love of Judaism starts round the family Shabbat table

The Institute for Jewish Policy Research (JPR) has done sterling research in examining “what works” when it comes to enhancing Jewish identity. Its research suggested that there is not one specific programme or intervention that will magically intensify Jewish feeling. There is no silver bullet. Human beings are, by nature, influenced by many different variables, so proving that one single variable will somehow affect Jewish identity is always going to be a chimera.

The stand-out element of the research was that children who had been brought up within stronger Jewish frameworks at home tended to have the strongest connection to Jewish identity. This was found to be stronger than any other initiative, such as camps or youth organisations or even Jewish schools. What happens at home is more important than any of that. It would be difficult to ignore the powerful force that parents have upon their children, the way that they learn both helpful and unhelpful things in their life from them. Whether consciously or unconsciously, children receive messages from their parents that are modelled or introjected into their psyche, both consciously and unconsciously.

The Torah itself implicitly believes in this method of education. In the Shema we are told “you shall teach your children” – the best way to teach Judaism is the transmission of our tradition from parent to child. Jewish law tells us that only if you are unable to teach your child the Torah should you hire a teacher. It is clear that the ideal is through familial Mesorah – the handing down – of our traditions because there is something personal, emotional and beautiful about a parent teaching their child – something a school could never provide.

Yet it would be short-sighted to assume that just because parents have certain values that all children will have exactly the same ones by osmosis. I am sure that many of us know families in which some children have the same values as their parents when it comes to religion, just as we know of families in which the values of parents are not the same. Just thinking of this makes me feel a little nervous and helpless as a parent who would like their children to follow in their ways. If what happens at home is the strongest correlate of Jewish heritage, and that is not a perfect process, what chance do we stand as parents who wish to pass on our glorious traditions? Luckily, there is psychological research that can help us. There are important mitigating factors that facilitate the transmission of values from one generation to another. There is an extensive list, but for the purposes of this article, I will focus on three.