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The day my heart broke for my daughter

'What has happened that at primary school age, she is working out how to hide her Jewishness from strangers?'

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Mother and daughter at home having a talk at home

May 20, 2021 13:35

The backlash to events in Israel have been a stark reminder of what bubbles away under the surface.

On the second day of Shavuot we didn’t attend synagogue. I let my children spend the day with their friends.

Both headed for shopping centres. My 12-year old son went with a friend to Hatfield’s Galleria. When she dropped them off, the mother of my son’s mate advised them that if they were asked why they weren’t at school, they should say they were on an INSET day. Not that they had a day off for Shavuot. I was relieved she’d had the forethought to tell them this.

Recounting this to my 10-year-old daughter over breakfast, she smiled. “That’s exactly what I had decided to do if anyone asked me why I wasn’t at school” she beamed proudly.

My heart broke. What has happened that at primary school age, she is working out how to hide her Jewishness from strangers?

This morning, we woke up to emails from both of their schools — JFS and Clore Shalom — reassuring parents that security has been heightened. At JFS, extra staff would be watching over the pupils as they travel from school to the local tube station. I warned my son not to go into the park next to school with his friends. He already knew why. I’m still worried he will be travelling on a bus full of Jewish children, so we asked him to keep his mobile phone switched on.

When I dropped my little girl at Clore Shalom, there were many more neon yellow, high visibility vests on parade, with several parents stationed around as additional eyes. The children have recently practised their ‘sleeping lions’ drill — which involves them hiding under their tables silently in locked classrooms. It’s aimed to protect them in the event an attacker breaks into the school. The very thought of it brings tears to my eyes.

My parents worry for me — working for a Jewish newspaper — while their grandchildren are highly visible in Jewish schools. My husband, a radio presenter, has always been proud of his Judaism and never hidden who he is. We are all proud of who we are.

My stepfather suffered antisemitic bullying while growing up in Essex and I’ve always waved away his concerns. Events of the weekend have left me uneasy though. Should we be more discreet? Would we be better off more integrated — in non-denominational schools?

We accept the security guards protecting our schools and synagogues. Which other ethnic minorities have to do this? That I am even worrying about this is, in the 21st century is wrong, but I’ll breathe a sigh of relief each day when my son returns home safely.

May 20, 2021 13:35

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