A whimsical take on the Tashlich ceremony, that comes in an email circular from the Kesher community centre in Golders Green.
"On the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah, there is a ceremony called Tashlich. Jews traditionally go to the ocean or a stream or river to pray and throw bread crumbs into the water. Symbolically, the fish devour their sins.
"Occasionally, people ask what kind of bread crumbs should be thrown. Here are suggestions for breads which may be most appropriate for specific sins and misbehaviours:
For ordinary sins - White Bread
For amatory sins - French Bread
For particularly dark sins - Pumpernickel
For complex sins - Multi-Grain
For twisted sins - Pretzels
For tasteless sins - Rice Cakes
For sins of indecision - Waffles
For sins committed in haste - Matzah
For substance abuse - Stoned Wheat
For use of hard drugs - Poppy Seed
For petty larceny - Stollen
For committing auto theft - Caraway
For ill-temperednes - Sourdough
For silliness, eccentricity - Nut Bread
For not giving full value - Shortbread
For excessive irony - Rye Bread
For telling bad jokes/puns- Corn Bread
For dressing suggestively - Tarts
For causing injury to others - Tortes
For being holier than thou - Bagels"