This week was the third anniversary of the Second Lebanon War. It is being marked by the inevitable retrospective analyses from politicians and IDF generals past and present. These “experts” can debate ad nauseam the results of the war, and its rights and wrongs, but one thing is undeniable. Since that fateful day in July, hundreds of Israelis have been forced to live with the war’s true legacy: the pain of bereavement.
Yesterday I attended the memorial ceremony for Benji Hillman in Ra’anana’s military cemetery. Benji, a company commander in the elite Egoz unit, was killed with three of his soldiers in Maroun al-Ras a week into the war, on July 20 2006.
Many people at the ceremony had attended Benji’s wedding to Ayala just three weeks before he was killed. Three years on, the searing pain caused by such a shattering loss may have eased very slightly. But there can no “closure” to such a gaping wound, and no “getting over” it.
Benji's family and close friends don’t waste time following what the pundits have to say about the war. They need all their energy simply to continue the slow adjustment to the sad, changed reality of their lives.
They devote time to “Habayit shel Benji”, the project they have established in Benji’s memory. “Habayit shel Benji” is a home for 50 lone soldiers to be built in Ra’anana. These soldiers, who are here from abroad or who come from disadvantaged backgrounds in Israel, do not have a comfortable home to go to while on leave. “Habayit shel Benji” will literally be a real home for the soldiers, with meals, laundry service, access to computers and help in finding work and continuing their education after their army service. Most of all, “Habayit shel Benji” will be there to offer warmth and support.
Danny Hillman, Benji’s father, says that the family does take comfort from this project. “We can’t change what has happened, so we are concentrating on making sure that Benji’s legacy of caring for caring for soldiers and people less fortunate than himself is continued.”
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For more information about Benji Hillman and “Habayit shel Benji” see the website www.benjihillman.org or write to info@benjihillman.org