Converting to Judaism can be brutal and in some ways, that’s the point. When non-Jews request to join Am Yisrael, we’re meant to turn them away three times. At first glance this may seem counterintuitive, but there's a method to the madness.
Most major religions proselytise; the goal being to spread the word, increase the influence and reach of the tradition. But not Judaism. Our goal is to check the bona fides of the applicant. We only want those who are truly committed. But these checks and balances can backfire when applied to one of our own.
Judaism is passed through the maternal line. I first learned this on a Holocaust education trip in High School. While in Poland, our group was led by a local rabbi. Attempting to rebuild what was left of the Jewish community in Warsaw, the rabbi was often approached by locals with some Jewish background, unsure of their status. Each story the rabbi regaled us with began the same way, “Are you Jewish? Is your mother Jewish? Is her mother Jewish?” If the individual answered in the affirmative to these questions, then the rabbi would exclaim, “Then you’re Jewish!”
However, these lineage inquiries don’t always have a happy ending. There are times that those who have lived their entire lives in our community find out that they’re not technically Jewish. And these cases are compounded by the tension between the liberal and traditional movements. Some of these cases involve an individual whose mother converted in the liberal world and now wants to be part of the more traditional streams and is faced with the difficult reality of having to convert.
And so it was for the author and star of the autobiographical show “Making the Cut,” Max Olesker. At the time of meeting his now wife, Olesker not only learned that he wasn’t Jewish but that in order to rectify the issue he’d have to study, be tested by a Beit Din (religious court), and be circumcised. By his own account in the Guardian, none of this was easy. But the most challenging aspect beyond the physical alterations was how the court treated him.
The testing he underwent was both grueling and painstakingly slow. It seems that the Beit Din sent Olesker back multiple times before he finally passed. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence. Perhaps it stems from the “turning away three times” practice, but most religious courts make it extremely difficult for converts, even if they were raised as Jews.
The Beit Din of which I’m a member is doing everything in its power to reverse this trend. Our goal is to make the process as welcoming and painless as possible – especially for those like Olesker. Turning converts away at the end of their journey is cruel. The Talmud uses one word multiple times to describe the duration of a conversion: immediate. And that’s our goal; to help people join Am Yisrael according to Jewish law, without the runaround.
As someone who works in this field, Olesker’s story was deeply unsettling. Judging from what is known about the religious court in his area, this treatment is to be expected because it’s notoriously reluctant to convert. But the tribulations Olesker was subjugated to were not the most unsettling part of the Guardian's coverage. Olesker also acknowledged that his theatrical performance must be received differently at “an incredibly strange time to be Jewish.”
This statement could scarcely be more tone-deaf. With hate marches sweeping across Europe and deadly attacks on Jews from the United States to Britain and Australia, it is not a “strange” time to be Jewish – it is downright frightening. It feels like the world is turning against us once again, and those who aren’t necessarily supporting the tidal shift are at least apathetic enough to let it happen.
What needs to be recognised is that Olesker’s production is a form of art. All artists draw from the well of personal experience when creating. Although some of it feels like airing the Jewish community’s dirty laundry, I’m not one for hiding the mistakes we’ve made and continue to make.
However, there’s something that needs to be reviewed in the conversion process. Each of our applicants is asked a group of questions just before completion. The most important inquiry is whether they still desire to become Jewish despite the rampant antisemitism infecting the world. If they answer in the affirmative, then they’re welcomed with open arms.
There is no doubt in my mind that Olesker recognises the gravity of his decision, and he should be commended for making it. I only worry that outlets like the Guardian are unaware of the repercussions of making light of the Jewish community’s global standing. We Jews are not facing some quirky new reality. We’re facing down age-old hatred that led to six million of our people being murdered. The only way we can defeat it is to recognise the evil for what it is in order to stop its proliferation.
Hayim Leiter is a rabbi, a wedding officiant, and a mohel who performs britot (ritual circumcisions) and conversions in Israel and worldwide. Based in Efrat, Israel, he is the founder of Magen HaBrit, an organisation protecting the practice of brit milah and the children who undergo it
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