Israeli women in abusive UK marriages need our help – the community must protect them

These women enter into marriages with false promises of love and stability, only to find themselves isolated, powerless and abused in a language they do not speak, in a country far from home.

Their partners – and sometimes people around them – fail these women at every turn. These stories are deeply harrowing. And tragically, they are not alone.

What these young women endure is not only an individual tragedy. Abuse is never confined to the four walls of a home. It ripples outward, affecting children, parents, siblings, friends and entire communities. We cannot dismiss domestic abuse as a “private matter.” To do so is to side with the abuser.

We know that when a woman contacts JWA or asks for help, she has often taken years to pluck up the courage to make that call. We know that, on average, a woman endures abuse for four years before seeking help – but for Jewish women, it’s longer; taking an average of ten years before she comes forward, sometimes citing the traditional expectations around family values as a reason for the delay.

Too many women are still being told that they should “try harder” or “be a better wife” as an unacceptable response to the abuse they face. When a woman reaches out for help – to a rabbi, to a relative, to a friend – she must be believed. These women need us. Not just the JWA team, but all of us, as a community.

At JWA, we are walking alongside more than 800 women and children right now. Among them are young Israelis who had their passports taken away, their contraception controlled, their freedom stolen. We are providing Hebrew-speaking counsellors so they can tell their stories in their own language – often the first step to being truly understood.

But we cannot do this work alone. If we want this pattern to stop, we must speak openly and act decisively. That means tackling abuse through multiple means, including: accepting communal responsibility, education and prevention, and taking action when perpetrators abuse women and children.

At JWA, we regularly run outreach initiatives, educating rabbis, community leaders and even professional frontline workers in the police services and NHS on how to recognise the signs of abuse. We go into schools and youth movements to talk about the importance of healthy relationships, respect and identifying red flags. We stand with women who bravely share their stories and we encourage the rest of the community to do so too.

The young Israeli women whose stories we read this week have bravely shared their stories and we resolutely stand with them too.

We cannot accept a reality where vulnerable women are deliberately brought into dangerous situations. We cannot allow abuse to be normalised, minimised, or ignored.

If we are serious about being a caring, responsible Jewish community, we must ensure every woman takes away this message: you are not alone, you will be believed, and there is a way out.