For years now, I’ve wondered whether Toby Young’s seminal book, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, is actually the foundational doctrine of Israel’s diplomatic and foreign policy.
These concerns weren’t allayed by seeing Israeli ministers reacting to Argentina’s victory over England last night.
“How does the song go? ‘It’s coming home.’ Yes it is. It’s coming home to Argentina. Vamos Argentina!”, posted Israel’s foreign minister Gideon Saar on X.
“Congratulations to the people of Argentina and my friend Javier Milei, fingers crossed for the final,” transport minister Miri Regev said on Facebook, sharing a photo of herself with the Argentine president and Israel’s prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
“I may not be able to enter Britain because I'm dismantling the idea of the Palestinian state, but two goals entered just fine,” said far-right minister Bezalel Smotrich, who, along with another far-right minister Itamar Ben-Gvir is sanctioned by Britain.
Some of this is understandable given Javier Milei and his government’s enthusiastic support for Israel.
And knowing the frequency with which Israel comes up in the House of Commons – something this paper exposed – I even have sympathy with the desire to stick two fingers up at the many British MPs and ministers in Parliament who clearly delight in standing up in the chamber and lecturing Israelis – many of whom have spent the past few years running in and out of bomb shelters – from the comfort of their green benches.
But just because I can understand something, that doesn’t make it an advisable course of action for government ministers.
It is worth remembering that Israel hasn’t actually qualified for a World Cup since 1970. There it managed two draws and one defeat, scoring just the one goal and was dumped out of the group stage.
Though the start-up nation is a pioneer in health, tech, agriculture and security, it is hardly a nation of footballing greats.
The antics of Israeli government ministers wouldn’t be noteworthy if they were celebrating their own success.
But doing it on behalf of another country just makes it so much more embarrassing, to the point where I, a Zionist who holds an Israeli passport, was almost in physical pain I was cringing so badly.
One can’t imagine Abba Eban descending to antagonistic social media posts on behalf of another country.
Former prime minister David Cameron once said famously said that “too many tweets might make a t***”, advice that should be urgently heeded in Jerusalem if the hour isn’t already too late.
Editorials in this paper have enthusiastically and robustly argued for Israel’s right to defend itself against the existential threats of Islamist terrorists of Hamas in Gaza and the destructive regional influence of Iran.
The antics of Israeli politicians at a time when English Jews are agonising and forced to wonder whether Moshiach will arrive before football comes home aren’t exactly welcome.
Israel’s popularity is already at an all-time low, and this pettiness goes nowhere to reversing it, even among the country’s supporters.
That said, I look forward to celebrating – anxiously and enthusiastically – when Arsenal’s Mikel Merino produces a last-minute winner to avenge us!
And I won’t hear any Israeli crying should Spanish star Lamine Yamal whip out a Palestine flag during their celebrations, as he did during Barcelona’s parade.
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