Not ready to run the gauntlet on London Transport, we drove up in Mr P’s electric car. Win win – no C-charge, no emissions. We masked up and climbed the stairs to the top of the store, which is given over entirely to the Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon. (Lifts are available but my daughter preferred to walk).
The Salon is named in honour of Her Maj's special celebration a few years ago. HRH visited (with their Royal Highnesses the Duchess of Cornwall and the Duchess of Cambridge) in 2012 — for a well-earned cuppa, and to formally open the room. The interior is a plush, pale blue and perfectly suited to afternoon tea.
As we’d arrived a few minutes early, we were directed sanitise our hands then wait a moment while they prepared our table. We watched the pianists change shifts, which involved a full anti-bacterial fogging of the piano by the departing musician, before his replacement could take his (safe) seat. Sad that the cleaning ritual, that would once have seemed odd, is now commonplace.
The room was buzzing with socially distanced, tea-takers. A mixture of families, couples and friends, many celebrating birthdays. No surprise, as for the month of October, the store was offering a free tea for anyone celebrating their birthday who could prove their date of birth.
My Halloween baby just scraped in for the free tea — super appropriate to the boy with the sweetest tooth. One of his first words was ‘cake’ — well ‘cak’ actually, as he pointed his chubby digits at an out of reach gateau.
Like so many menus nowadays, there are several options. As well as the regular afternoon tea, there’s a savoury afternoon tea; high tea (with a more substantial hot savoury option); plus vegetarian, gluten-free or dairy-free. There’s also a children’s menu which is half the price. The adult tea is £60 per head, not an uncommon price tag for a West End tea.
The birthday boy and his sister picked the Children’s Menu — actually aimed at the ten and under age group, but plenty big enough for most adults. We subbed out the meat sandwiches for extra cheese, cream cheese and cucumber. I went for the classic Afternoon Tea tea, skipping meat sandwiches for extra egg and smoked salmon, and my husband picked the vegetarian version.
Colin, our masked waiter, was all over our dietary requests, even making sure all cakes were gelatine-free.
Fortnum’s has a fine selection of teas, and I went down the rabbit hole of the tea menu. There's a huge range of black, oolong, green, white and yellow teas, each with a description that made it impossible for me to decide. There’s even a section enlightening the tea taker on leaf grades. I’m now mildly ashamed of my PG habit. When I restock our tea caddy, my choices are based on price and (since I discovered that most bags contain plastic) environmental impact. I may have to raise my tea-making game.
Fortunately, Colin really knew his stuff and recommended a Hunan tea, which, was smoky and flavourful. Mr P went for a yellow tea (Colin's favourite) that he said was the best he’d ever drunk. I think decent tea is about to become my new wfh obsession.
The food was fabulous — each of us had a three tier stand with sandwiches; two scones (mini ones for the children) and a top tier of mini patisserie treats. Having watched the GBBO bakers producing (pretty average) eclairs, Miss K and I jas been craving them and were straight into the tiny rose éclairs with their shiny pink fondant icing. They were perfectly baked — crisp and light as a feather.
There was clotted cream for the scones plus Fortnum and Mason’s own lemon curd or strawberry jam to slather on top, which we did.
Colin encouraged my son to pick a cake from the cake trolley and it arrived complete with candle so we could sing to him.
We weren’t the only ones asking for a box to take the leftovers with us — it’s a generous menu, plus everything is bottomless, allowing you to top up anything you order.
All coronavirus precautions had been taken and we felt safe. We walked off the sugary treats with a stroll through St James’s Park to wave at the Palace.
Now that we’ve been locked down again, you may have to wait a few weeks to try it out, but when we’re released to enjoy London again — and our great lady really does your support — tea at Fortnum’s is a great place to celebrate freedom.
More information on tea at the Diamond Jubilee Tea Salon at Fortnum and Mason tea (including menus)
here.
