Mr Marland was planning to tell the British and Israeli guests at their wedding — which took place on Thursday — about their unusual courtship. His parents, Warren Marland and Gillian Kay, made aliyah from Manchester in 1992 and British guests included his grandfather Leslie Kay, a trustee of the Fed in Manchester.
A year after they first encountered each other they met again — but Eliav missed all the signals Etti was giving off. “We met with a group of friends and started talking at the bar,” he said.
“She was so funny and beautiful and intelligent that I didn’t think she’d be into me. At the end of the evening she put her number in my phone.”
They started talking on the phone but it took him two weeks to realise that she was interested in him romantically. “I’m not very bright,” he jokes.
But they did not have time to get serious before he was off on a post-army trip abroad. “We both said we’re not taking it too seriously and whatever happened happened, but it was clear a week after I left that we’d stay together.”
Today, they are both students and both in remission. He is studying biology and chemistry at Hebrew University, and she is studying art at Bezalel College. They say that their joy at finding love was all the greater because they understand each other’s challenges over cancer.
“Something that’s very difficult for cancer patients and people recovering from cancer is that for at least a year after treatment we look to surround ourselves with people who have had similar experiences. People who have had cancer understand you in a way that others can’t and you can even laugh about experiences with cancer," Eliav says.
“And even moving on, we don’t call ourselves sick or healthy — you’re either battling or recovering.
“You’re always dealing with something, even now when I’m four years after treatment. You’re forever recovering and it’s so much easier and you get much more support with someone who understands.
“There is a lot to do with body image. There are things that make you stand out. I have a hearing aid.
“Things to do with cancer can make things hard at the start of a relationship.
“Also, at what point at the start of a relationship do you have to bring up cancer? I found a loophole — I don’t have to deal with it.”
