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Woman who was refused get for 15 years is finally free
She appeals for Orthodox rabbis to take tougher action against husbands who will not grant them
July 31, 2019 18:05
She appeals for Orthodox rabbis to take tougher action against husbands who will not grant them
July 31, 2019 18:05A woman in London who has finally obtained a get after 15 years wants Orthodox rabbis in the UK to take tougher action against husbands who refuse to grant them.
Esther Kahan, 57, who was married to Shmiel Kahan, had been left unable to remarry under Jewish law because he had withheld a religious divorce.
Despite the involvement of three batei din and a “name and shame” campaign by one of them to try to pressure Mr Kahan into granting the get, she believes more could have been done.
“I found myself being pushed from pillar to post,” she said. “And I did not feel there was much of a sense of urgency by those in authority to resolve my predicament.”
In 2015, the London Beth Din distributed flyers to various London synagogues, denouncing Mr Kahan’s “abhorrent conduct” for refusing the get.
But Mrs Kahan said her freedom came about only after she happened to catch sight of her ex-husband, who has been living abroad, on a visit to London this spring.
She asked a friend to approach him on her behalf and within three days friends and supporters had raised a sum of money to reach a settlement. A get was arranged by the Union of Orthodox Hebrew Congregations.
But during her time as an agunah (chained woman), she had felt demoralised by the attitude of some rabbis, one even advising her not to expect to receive a get.
“With an attitude like that, I was never convinced that they were doing all they could to help me.
“There are other agunahs who are suffering every day out there. I hope that telling my story will give them hope that one day they will all be released from their wretched situations.
"I have no doubt that a beis din with more influence and authority would make a dramatic difference to the agunah problem.
"Only the rabbonim can make that happen. I hope they sit up and take note.”
At one point, a protest had been planned outside a synagogue attended by Mr Kahan but it had been called off the night before, she recalled.
Mrs Kahan had been left scarred by her experiences. “Hitting rock bottom is something almost indescribable. It is the darkest place on earth.”
However, she expressed gratitude for the support of colleagues at Noam Primary School in Wembley, where she is a nursery practitioner.
A friend of Mr Kahan said in 2015 that Mr Kahan had wanted to settle the issue, but believed “outstanding matters” needed to be settled.
London Beth Din head Dayan Menachem Gelley said he was “very glad” the situation had now been resolved. “Every effort was expended over many years… to resolve Mrs Kahan’s circumstances within the realm of halachah,” he said.
The LBD ran a similar campaign when Mr Kahan moved to New York and also placed notices here asking people not to contribute to his charity.
