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Mum and daughter celebrate joint batmitzvah

Online learning during lockdown led Malissa Taylor-Saks and Abigail Coe from the small Kent Liberal community to their big day in Maidstone

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During lockdown, Kent Liberal Jewish Community members Malissa Taylor-Saks and daughter Abigail Coe discovered the online Hebrew programme run by Northwood Liberal congregation The Ark.

The Whitstable-based duo became engrossed in their learning, enjoying it so much that they have gone on to celebrate a joint batmitzvah, roughly coinciding with mum and daughter’s 50th and 13th birthdays.

Ms Taylor-Saks recalled that growing up in South Africa in the 1970s and 80s, batmitzvahs were not commonplace.

“I spent a lot of my life as a refugee in my story,” she said in her dvar Torah. “An imposter in my tale. I was always peering in, desperate to be a part of something. Not Jewish enough for some and too Jewish for others. Always on the outside looking in.”

She told the JC that she had always felt she had missed out by not being batmitzvah.

“Having our ceremony, albeit 37 years late for me, was one of the most amazing experiences of my life so far.

“This felt like the little piece of my Jewish puzzle finally put into its place. I am so grateful to everyone that made it happen.”

Abigail added that “the last two years have been challenging for many people. But for me and my mum it was an opportunity to connect with each other, with our Jewishness, learn loads of Hebrew and ultimately celebrate our b’not mitzvah.” The ceremony was staged at the 50-strong Kent community’s venue in Maidstone, where monthly services are held, with The Ark’s senior minister, Rabbi Aaron Goldstein, officiating.

Rabbi Goldstein was previously Liberal Judaism’s head of community development and has maintained a passion for supporting those living outside the major Jewish hubs.

“This was the first mother and daughter coming of age ceremony I have conducted,” he said. “It was a perfect example of two communities coming together, facilitated by our common movement.”

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