It is the cornerstone of the Jewish diet. But startling new research has found that our penchant for chicken soup has for millennia been the unknown cause of many previously unattributed illnesses.
Studies conducted at the world-renowned Ahasuerus Research and Scientific Enterprises labs have found that, far from helping with ailments as Jewish folklore has it, the chemical reaction brought about by cooking the large combination of ingredients that make a traditional chicken soup cause a variety of undiagnosed ailments such as headaches, irritability and fatigue.
Mordy Silverstein, lead researcher on the project, said: “The evidence is surprising but very clear. It may be known as the Jewish penicillin but that’s only right in one respect: it is as harmful to the body as ingesting mould.”
The findings of the researchers have been backed by other leading scientists. Prof H Aman, of the Tel Aviv Biological Institute, said that a study in 1956 had hinted at a potential problem with chicken soup but that funding had been cut as the idea was dismissed as “self-evidently nonsense”.
He continued: “Thanks to this ground-breaking study, a variety of ailments which many Jews have frequently complained of but which have been dismissed by the medical fraternity — not to mention family and friends — are both real and the direct result of consuming chicken soup.”
Pals Nams, a food hygienist, suggested that Jews should replace chicken soup with Borscht (pictured). “There is no more healthy food around. The vegetables alone are wonderful, but the addition of sour cream is what you might call the icing on the cake.”
Keen-eyed readers will notice that this article was published for Purim 2017
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