Firstly, brief the riders with a preposterous narrative, usually about the world ending. Ideally get a famous actor to deliver the spiel in a dramatic way that ends with some exciting, suspenseful music.
Secondly, usher everyone onto small carriages, and lock them in place with a padded metal bar that automatically drops down across the rider's knees or chest and locks you in place.
Next, hurtle them along a furiously-fast ride packed with non-stop light and sound effects. Finally, come to an abrupt halt, and exit via a hectic, busy gift shop.
The new Avengers Campus in the Walt Disney Studios Park section proves the above formula works perfectly.
The new area is a must-see for all Marvel enthusiasts and thrill-seekers, including the zone’s two excellent new rides: the Spider-Man W.E.B Adventure, and the white-knuckle Avengers Assemble: Fight Force.
For the latter, the Avengers Assemble roller coaster, you need to be 1.2m to ride (which ruled out both our sons, aged seven and nine).
Iron Man (Photo: Disneyland Paris)
You also have to be brave. A brilliant animatronic Iron Man explains the latest threat to civilisation - warheads being set to earth by an alien empire — and then, as per the above formula, you get trundled into a carriage.
After a nerve-wracking countdown, the rollercoaster zips you from zero to almost 60mph in less than three seconds. You get hurtled along a 1km track with a ’Sea Serpent’ roll (a discombobulating double flip if you don’t know the jargon) along the way.
And, by the way, that’s in almost complete darkness, aside from projections of Marvel figures. I was terrified from start (where I left my stomach) to finish.
My favourite new ride by far was the Spider-Man attraction. As per the Golden Rule, there’s the dramatic narrative: radioactive spiders are on the loose and set to take over the planet. So, inevitably, you have to destroy them all.
There is a quick explanation of how to fire webs to trap the spiders, and then you get guided onto the ride carriages. Sensors somehow read your arm movements and you get the impression that you are spinning and firing webs yourself.
You feel like Peter Parker and it makes for an utterly exhilarating three minutes. I loved every second and immediately started queuing for a second turn.
The only drawback is those lines: visiting on a hot day in peak season, shortly after the new campus opened, the queues were equally impressive for their sheer length.
The Dora Milaje (Photo: Disneyland Paris)
Aside from these headline acts on the new campus, there are brilliantly choreographed superhero fights to watch.
They are played out not on the stages of the big auditoriums, but rather on the roofs of some of the buildings. The surprising rooftop setting works well, and the crowds below cheer for their heroes.
Along with these great new experiences, the older attractions still pack a punch. For my children we saved one of my own favourites until the end of the day: the classic Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which I remember enjoying when I was their age.
The ride still has pirates singing about rum and moving with jerky animatronics, but it remains fun and just about scary enough to be thrilling.
“Absolutely amazing!” was the verdict of my nine-year-old son. The new Avengers World is clever, thrilling and innovative, but don’t forget the simple rides too.
Like this? Sign up for more with our JC Life newsletter here.
From fabulous recipes to parenting tips, travel and West End entertainment; insightful interviews and much more: there’s more to the JC than news!
