King of the castles: this holiday home is the real Deal

The master bedroom (Photo: English Heritage)[Missing Credit]

At the same time, as fun as it was reinventing myself as “Lady of the Manor” for the weekend, there are certain mod-cons one just can’t live without, so it was pleasing to find not only a Nespresso machine, but two (noch!) different types of cafetière.

The kitchen, which, along with the rest of the apartment, was spotlessly clean, is fully equipped. But, if for you (like us), being on holiday means being off kitchen duties, you come armed with a cool bag of ready meals. That, plus the wonderful hamper provided by English Heritage – consisting of a moreish loaf of crusty white bread, succulent black fig and raspberry jam, and delicious chocolate – as well as a fridge already stocked with orange juice (freshly squeezed!), milk, butter and eggs, should be more than enough to get you through your stay.

There were even hot cross buns, and the housekeeper sweetly phoned me in advance to check that I - coming with my JC journalist hat on - wouldn’t be offended by them. No offence taken: they made for a lovely Sunday breakfast. (For those readers who are strictly kosher, it is worth asking about being able to kosher the kitchen.)

The cosy kitchen in the Greenhouse Apartment (Photo: English Heritage)[Missing Credit]

With the bedroom at one end of the corridor and the bathroom at the other, my only concern was how my nearly-50-year-old bladder would find the toilet in the middle of night. I had visions of stumbling into the sitting room and sitting down on one of the pristine armchairs…. But English Heritage really have thought of everything, including a nightlight in the corridor. Tick, tick, tick.

One of the advantages of staying in the grounds of a castle is that you are almost guaranteed to be in a prime location. High up (hence a fantastic view), near the sea and in the middle of nowhere. So, when it came to bedtime, I don’t think I have experienced silence quite like it before, and with the silence came a sense of calm and a deep, deep sleep – broken in the gentlest of ways by the sound of tourists arriving at the castle the next morning, but, thankfully, not before 10am. (I told you it was a good sleep.)

The view over the gardens and the castle from Walmer Castle's greenhouse apartment (Photo: English Heritage)Jim Holden

There is something rather novel about waking up to find strangers milling around “your” garden, but a word of warning – as much as this is your home for the weekend, just don’t open the curtains in a state of undress - or they may get more than they bargained for from their English Heritage membership.

I suggest spending a good chunk of the morning visiting the castle. If you manage to peel yourself away from the gift shop, with its enticing range of English Heritage jams and curds, as well as a bee revival kit (yes, really) and plants for sale, you will find yourself in a wonderful Tudor fortress, which brings that era to life, both for history buffs (like my husband) and those who took history at GCSE because it was a choice between that or geography ( like me).

Walmer Castle gives you an intimate insight into who once lived there (Photo: English Heritage)[Missing Credit]

To give you a very potted history, Walmer Castle was built between 1539 and 1540 by Henry VIII in response to threats of invasion from Europe, as part of a roughly three-mile coastal barrier, which also comprises Deal and Sandown castles.

Since the 18th century, Walmer has been the official residence of the Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports, a group of major ports on the south-east coast of England. By the middle of that century, it had also become a seaside retreat for Lords Warden, who included William Pitt the Younger, the Duke of Wellington, W H Smith (apparently, not just the name of a stationery shop) and the Queen Mother, who was the only woman to hold the office.

Going round the castle, you get an intimate sense of those who once lived in its hallowed halls. There is a room containing a pair of original “Wellington” boots, as well as the room the duke died in, recreated to look as it did at the time.

A pair of original "Wellington boots" (Photo: English Heritage)[Missing Credit]

A highlight was the “Print Room”, which contains satirical cartoons of William Pitt the Younger and Napoleon, revealing the tensions between Britain and France during the Napoleonic era.

But you can’t visit the castle itself without leaving plenty of time to enjoy its eight acres of beautiful grounds, a curious patchwork of different gardens, designed according to the whim of the resident at the time.  

The Queen Mother's Garden (Photo: English Heritage)[Missing Credit]

The Queen Mother’s garden feels both formal and pretty with its water feature and arched structures, inspired by Islamic gardens and created to mark the royal’s 95th birthday.

In contrast, there is the imposing broadwalk, whose geometric border hedge, commissioned by Lord Granville in 1866, has evolved into what is now known as the “cloud hedge” due to its unusual undulating design.

The "cloud hedge" bordering the Broadwalk (Photo: Gaby Wine)[Missing Credit]

But my favourite “patches” were “the pleasure grounds”, commissioned by William Pitt while he was Lord Warden in the early 19th century. These include a peaceful, shady woodland walkway and an intriguing recreational space known as The Glen. Repurposed from a deep, dark abandoned chalk pit, now covered in lush shrubbery, it left me feeling like I was an extra in Avatar rather than in the grounds of a historic castle – and the kids will love it.

The Glen (Photo: Gaby Wine)[Missing Credit]

Come lunchtime, there is a cosy-looking café at Walmer (and of course, the ready-meals you may have brought with you), but I recommend heading down to nearby Deal – as much for the walk as for the meal.

You can, of course, take a short drive, but it seems a shame not to enjoy the roughly 45-minute trip on foot (or by bike) along a wonderfully flat coastal path with uninterrupted views of the sea. If you need a rest, park yourself on one of the many benches, in memory of loved ones who also once enjoyed the seascape.

If you aren’t “castled out”, you could stop at Deal Castle en route, a larger and more elaborate version of Walmer, which, quite literally, put Deal on the map in the 16th century. But if hunger beckons, walk on.

Signs for the cycle path along the beach (Photo: Gaby Wine)[Missing Credit]

Deal itself has fortunately been neither gentrified nor, for the most part, left to slide into a state of disrepair. Instead, its mainly pedestrianised streets offer a colourful mix of curio shops and vintage stores.

Tempting though that was to try one of the chippies, the breezy spring weather enticed us indoors to Bistro 18. Despite the Jewish reference in the name (with the number 18 symbolising “Chai”), this was more coincidence rather than kosher, though Bistro 18 does nonetheless offer some tasty fish and vegetarian options. We skipped dessert and instead treated ourselves to sundaes at Deal Beach Parlour - all in aid of scrupulous investigative journalism. Suffice to say, they did not disappoint.

One of the many "memory benches" on the way to Deal (Photo: Gaby Wine)[Missing Credit]

I’m afraid can’t enlighten you about Saturday nights in Deal as the cosiness of the apartment lent itself perfectly to an evening in watching Britain’s Got Talent, accompanied by an English Heritage bar of chocolate – and the husband. (Tick, tick, tick)

After another night of blissfully uninterrupted sleep, we headed out again the next morning, this time in the opposite direction, along the Washington Parade, musing over whether we could ever live in one of the houses - or, at the least, rent one over the summer. We concluded that the lack of a local minyan - the nearest shul is about 20 miles away - would make the former unlikely, and, as for the latter, there is no denying that the view, the light and the sea air are rather seductive, but I am partial, I’m afraid, to a sandy, rather than a shingle, beach.

Nonetheless, we did enjoy peeking in the front windows of people’s homes, where there was frequently a model of a ship or a marine-inspired piece of artwork: a nod to a life lived and loved by the sea.

As everyone knows, you can’t claim to be truly British without having a meal on the beach, whatever the weather. We sat on an outside table of the Zetland Arms pub, which has some delicious vegetarian and vegan options, before conceding defeat when spaces at its very homely bar became available.

[Missing Credit]

When holidaying options – unless you are prepared to go under canvas – fall into two main categories of either safe but dull hotel (however luxurious) or the hit-and-miss conventional rental – it made an inspiring change to have the privilege of staying in the grounds of a castle or stately home. And a novel holiday invariably means a memorable one.

As the White Cliffs of Dover and lilac skies gave way to the grey concrete of the M20 and the London fog, we began plotting our return trip to Walmer Castle, shingle beach and all, or an entirely different experience in another English Heritage property. And next time, we will definitely be bringing the kids.

For more information on the Walmer Castle apartment or cottage, click here. For other English Heritage holiday opportunities, click here