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Theatre

Shhh! Don't tell my kids what I'm wearing

July 28, 2016 10:33
Penelope in the 'sausage' role

By

Penelope Solomon

3 min read

Like many mums, I've taken a career break to have kids. Now, nine years and three babies later, I'm heading back to work. But, perhaps unlike other mums, my going back to work involves performing in front of a live audience, dressed as a penis.

My new comedy show is at the Edinburgh Fringe but I haven't been able to advertise it much. I was doing well, I'd managed to successfully hide the flyers and posters from the kids for about six months but then, at the weekend, I had to photocopy the sound cue list. The next thing I knew my 10-year-old son looked at the piece of paper, turned to me and said sternly; "Mummy, that's inappropriate."

The costume has been easier to explain. My children think it's my sausage costume. They refer to it as the sausage in the loft, which is where it's kept. It was designed by Geoff Slack with an extra piece of material for the top which can be velcro-ed on and off. Although it's a bit grubby, having been in the loft for 10 years, I don't think I'll be taking it to the dry cleaners.

When I was at home with the babies, I was in a kind of bubble where success was measured by how much sleep I'd had or how well the baby had fed. I would feel triumphant if, for example, my medley of vegetables was eaten or I'd managed to sleep through until 5am with only two wake-ups. I'd sit on the Hackney Playbus with my toddlers, boring my friend to tears as I spoke about all the plans and ideas I had for re-launching my career.