Life & Culture

Mind the gap – don’t let their age put you off

Our matchmaker thinks you should be open-minded about the vintage of your potential partner,


Woman covering her mouth to hide smile or bad breath during a date in a coffee shop with a window in the background

Would you date someone who was quite a bit older or younger than you? Age gaps in the dating world fascinate me.

When I’m matchmaking, I always try and be liberal about age and encourage my clients to adopt that attitude too. I’ve set up younger guys with older women - interestingly, the men usually don’t have a problem with but nine times out of ten, the women do.

I think singletons judge potential suitors based on their age far too quickly. I appreciate everyone has their own preconceived views on how big an age gap should be but what is that based upon? Just because someone may have been born ten years before or after you doesn’t mean you should rule them out of being a potential match. It’d be pretty wild and quite frankly unrealistic if everyone was born in the same year as their soulmate anyway.

Nearly a decade ago when I was working at my first ever grownup job a colleague of mine told me she was struggling with dating and that the apps were dead. Unbeknownst to me at the ripe age of 21 my colleague was living my future. Anyway, I advised her to adjust her settings and make that age range wider and particularly, younger. Lo and behold she matched with her now husband who is a couple of years younger than herself. Little did I know that long before I even set up my business and became a self-proclaimed matchmaker, I was already subtly influencing the dating world!

My more recent dating escapades have seen me date a man in his early forties. I might as well practice what I preach, right? I was at an engagement party for a couple I had setup and met a woman who was keen to introduce me to someone. I was of course mega grateful and welcomed someone matchmaking me and switching up the roles for once. She created a WhatsApp group with let’s call him, Dylan. Introduced us and left the chat. Iconic if you ask me! Dylan gave me a call and we had a fun 20-minute chat before agreeing to arrange a date.

Just before we got off the phone Dylan asked me my age. I said 28 expecting him to say 32 or circa that. He kind of coughed and said 42. Fourteen years is quite a hectic age gap, but we went on a date. It was a pretty decent first date as my collection of first dates go and I can confirm he did not look 42. Alas, there was a whole host of other reasons why Dylan and I weren’t destined to go beyond that first date. It was however, an eye opening experience to entertain the idea of being with somebody who let’s be honest, was partying at university whilst I was still in nursery.

The reality is nurture and nature influence maturity and readiness when it comes to dating and relationships. Within reason, age is just a number. And if you’re exclusively dating Jewish people hastily narrowing your age range is a dangerous way to dismiss a whole bunch of people that could be a stunning match for you.

Just because society tells us that typically men date younger women and women date older men does not mean we need to follow this trend. Besides, women tend to live longer than men so if you’re being smart ladies, you’re better off finding yourself a younger man anyway.

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