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The family planning that Shavuot asks us to do

The festival, which begins on Saturday night, reminds us of the importance of educating our children

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Jewish man sharing challah bread with family at Shabbat meal

Addressing high-ranking officials during his inaugural speech on 19 May, 2019, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said: “I don’t want my portraits to hang in your offices, because the president is not an icon or an idol. Hang pictures of your children there and look them in the eyes before every decision”.

Reading these words, I was reminded of a midrashic account related to the upcoming festival of Shavuot. “When Israel stood to receive the Torah, God said to them: ‘I am prepared to give you My Torah. Present to Me good guarantors that you will observe and study the Torah and I shall give it to you.’

— They said: ‘Our ancestors are our guarantors.’

—  God said: ‘Your ancestors are not sufficient guarantors.’

— They said: ‘Our prophets are our guarantors.’

— God said: ‘The prophets are not sufficient guarantors.’

— They said: ‘Our children will be our guarantors.’

— God said: ‘Your children are good guarantors. For their sake I give the Torah to you.’”

A friend of mine who became more Jewishly observant later in life explained that his shift towards tradition was inspired by a statement he heard which resonated deeply:  “In today’s world, the big question is not how Jewish [ie religious] your grandparents were, but how Jewish your grandchildren will be.”

On January 1, 2000, the New York Times ran a Millennium edition. It was a special issue that featured three front pages. 

One had the news from January 1, 1900. The second was the actual news of the day, January 1, 2000. 

And then they had a third front page, projecting future events of January 1, 2,100.

This fictional page included things like a welcome to the fifty-first state, Cuba, as well as a discussion as to whether robots should be allowed to vote. 

In addition to the fascinating articles, there was one more thing. Down on the bottom of the Year 2100 front page was the Shabbat candle lighting time in New York for January 1, 2100. 

Nobody paid for the ad. It was put in by the Times

When the production manager of the New York Times — an Irish Catholic — was asked about it, he explained: “We don’t know what will happen in the year 2100.  It is impossible to predict the future.  But of one thing you can be certain, that in the year 2100 Jewish women will be lighting Shabbat candles.”

As a student of Jewish history, I, too, am convinced that the Jewish people as a people will continue to gather round Shabbat dinner tables well beyond the year 2,100, the question is only whether our grandchildren and great-grandchildren will be sitting around those tables.

Consider the following thought-provoking quote in Cecil Roth’s, A History of the Jews: “Our survey of three and a half millennia of Jewish history is closed. But the story which we have set ourselves to tell is unending.  

“Today, the Jewish people has in it still those elements of strength and endurance which enabled it to surmount all the crises of its past, surviving thus the most powerful empires of antiquity.

“Throughout our history there have been elements that have been swallowed in the great majority; only the more stalwart have carried on the traditions of their ancestors, and can now look back with pride upon their superb heritage. 

“Are we to be numbered with the weak majority, or with the stalwart minority? It is for ourselves to decide.” 

The truth of the matter is that success in any area of life demands careful and strategic planning.

Without a mission statement and a business plan, any enterprise is destined to flounder and fail. 

This is true of civilisations, corporations, careers, relationships and personal fulfilment in life.

In the words of philosopher Thomas Merton: “People may spend their whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to find, once they reach the top, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.”

The festival of Shavuot is our annual reminder that the same is true when it comes to building a Jewish family and legacy as well.

Nothing can be taken for granted when it comes to one of life’s greatest blessings: genuine naches (parental joy, inner peace and pride) from our children.

And so, inspired by God’s message to our ancestors when selecting our tradition’s guarantors 3,334 years ago, if you haven’t yet done so, take some time to sit down with your significant other and create a family plan dedicated to answering the question — and designing a plan for— just how Jewish your grandchildren will grow up to be.

This is the surest way to ensure that the family tree’s we cherish so deeply will continue to grow upward and onward, blooming and blossoming into fruitful generations to come.

Mendel Kalmenson is rabbi of Chabad Belgravia 

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