OPINION: Why are we waiting for the government to parent our kids?

Grassroots movements like Smartphone Free Childhood have gained massive momentum, with over 100,000 parents nationwide writing to their MPs to demand immediate legislative action. As Gregor Ross, a regional leader for the movement, put it: "Childhood is fleeting and precious... When thousands of parents act at the same time, MPs must listen".

It is unquestionable that endless scrolling, social media-fuelled comparisons and performative pressure has increased anxiety, depression and eating disorders.

Putting to one side the question of whether the ban can actually make a difference, or perhaps just encourage our savvy teens to find workarounds or, worse, push teens into darker, more unregulated parts of the internet, there is a more pressing question. When the evidence is so stark, when every study demonstrates that social media, and by extension, smartphones and increased screen time, is so harmful, particularly during the formative years of childhood and adolescence, why do we need the state to ban something that we, as parents, not only allow, but actively finance?

The majority of teens and younger children with a smartphone – 24 per cent of school children aged eight to 11 and 97 per cent of 12-year-olds – do not buy their own. We provide the devices and pay for the data plans that funnel addictive, algorithm-driven content directly to our children.

Whilst the mental health crisis that is engulfing our children cannot be fully placed on the shoulders of internet use, it is unquestionable that endless scrolling, social media-fuelled comparisons and performative pressure has increased anxiety, depression and eating disorders. Research by JAMA Psychiatry has shown that adolescents who spend over three hours a day on social media are twice as likely to experience poor mental health, including depression and anxiety, compared to their peers. 

We as parents love our children and sacrifice so much for them. We give them the best educational choices, we drive them to tutors and extra-curricular activities, we take them on holidays to build memories.

And yet, we are depriving them of something much more precious. As Ash Brown, author of Power On, points out that the cost of smartphone usage is not just the destructive content that our children access but the replacement of healthy, creative and social activities with screentime. We use excuses to justify this: "I need to know where they are for security." But a "dumb phone" or a simple air-tracker provides that same security without the 4.8 hours of daily scrolling that British teens currently average.

We need to be braver, to be more confident in our ability to parent and withstand the peer pressure we are always warning our teens to resist

We are so paralysed by the fear of setting boundaries or affecting our children’s "social standing" that we hand them tools known to erode their self-esteem. As Esther Ghey, mother of murdered teenager Brianna Ghey, recently wrote to the Prime Minister: "Social media limited [Brianna's] ability to engage in real-world social interactions. She had real friends, but she chose to live online instead.”

The government's consultation is an encouraging step, but it should be a wake-up call, not a crutch. If we truly believe these platforms are a "catastrophic harm" to a generation, as Lord Nash recently stated in the House of Lords, then we cannot wait for the summer of 2026 for a government report.

We need to be braver, to be more confident in our ability to parent and withstand the peer pressure we are always warning our teens to resist and perhaps be okay with some teen sulking and tantrums.

The responsibility to protect our children starts at the dinner table, not the dispatch box. It is time we stop paying for the privilege of destroying our children's mental health and start making some hard but, in the long run critical parenting moves.

Naomi Lerer is founder and CEO of Noa Girls