The cancer journey doesn’t stop when treatment does - The Jewish Chronicle

When Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales, spoke of the pressure put on people in remission to “crack on, get back to normal” after treatment, it took me back four decades to memories of my dear mother, as she completed treatment for cancer.

On a visit to a cancer wellbeing centre this month, the royal described her recovery as a “rollercoaster” – a “life-changing experience both for the individual patient but also for the families”. She said: “You have to find your new normal and that takes time.”

In truth, the Princess’ words could have been spoken by my late mother, Frances Winegarten z’l. In her fifties, she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. After almost three years of surgeries, radiotherapy and gruelling chemotherapy, my mother was struck by a conversation with her wonderful oncologist at the Royal Marsden Hospital. At that time, the focus was on treating the immediate illness, rather than the aftercare. So, when he said: “We’ve done our bit. Now go home and pick-up the pieces”, her response was: “How do I do that? I’m not the same person.”

But she found her strength again by seeking people who had gone through similar experiences. At the time, she journeyed from our family home in north London to the nearest support group she could find, 15 miles away in Wandsworth. She took comfort in the group but knew more needed to be done locally; more needed to be done for the community.

After being introduced to Susan Shipman – whose daughter Natalie tragically died just before her eighth birthday after being diagnosed with brain cancer aged three – together, they set up Chai in 1990. The name epitomised the organisation’s ethos to help people live with the impact of a cancer diagnosis, whatever the outcome.

Chair of Chai Cancer Care Louise Hager receives her MBE from His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales, for services to people with cancer[Missing Credit]

Now, as the chairman of Chai Cancer Care, the UK Jewish community’s leading support organisation for cancer patients and their loved ones, I am determined that we continue to meet the evolving needs of those that turn to us. And that includes supporting people diagnosed with cancer – as well as those in remission.

It’s natural for the latter to crave a return to life before diagnosis, so that they can get back to “normal”, doing the school runs, returning to work, accepting social invitations, and hosting Shabbat meals. But, as the Princess of Wales said, the reality can be very different.

At Chai, we understand this. Today, one in three clients are under the age of 50. Over the past four years, referrals for young adults aged 18 to 40 have increased by 311 per cent; and in the past year, we have supported 4,500 people across our 11 centres, offering clients 70 specialist services to meet both the physical and emotional changes and challenges during and post cancer surgery and treatment. This includes our Chai medical clinic, a three-way collaboration with the NHS Royal Free Hampstead and Marie Curie Cancer.

But it’s much more than that. At Chai, we have created an environment where there is an unspoken language of shared experiences and commonalities. It may not be the life our clients had expected, but Chai helps them find quality and meaning in their new life.

And that’s just part of the message I relayed to His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales, when I received my MBE for services to people with cancer, this year.

I explained that “Chai” was the Hebrew word for “Life”, and that when the Princess spoke of finding light in the darkest of times, she gave strength and encouragement to so many people across the world.

His Royal Highness said he would “tell Catherine” how well-received her words had been.

And I really hope she knows how important they are – because when the Princess speaks, people really listen. As my mother felt at the time of her own diagnosis, openness around an illness is key to combatting any misplaced stigmas or taboos. We have come a long way since then, and there is still more to be done – including for people seeking support after recovering from a diagnosis.

Today, there is hope, there is help and, for the community, there is Chai.

Louise Hager MBE is chair of Chai Cancer Care

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Chai Cancer Care