‘The faith of the hostages inspired me to find my own’

But what helped restore Rebbetzin Feldman’s faith – and inspired her to start her discussion group – was seeing hostages coming out after months spent in captivity, saying that what had sustained them was their faith in God. “Emily Damari said that every day she said a psalm to thank God, and when Agam Berger was released, she held up a sign on a whiteboard which read: ‘I chose the way of faith.’ During captivity, she had found a siddur, and she had prayed and tried to keep Shabbat.

“You would have thought that being in captivity would have been the last place where people would have wanted to turn to God, but they did. People think that you can only learn about faith and religion from people who are on a pedestal, but we now see that we can learn from ordinary people who have gone through horrific times and have become modern day beacons of faith.”

Rebbetzin Jacqueline Feldman (Photo: Orli Krief)[Missing Credit]

Rebbetzin Feldman, 42, says that her discussion groups were influenced by Rabbi Efrem Goldberg, a religious leader from Boca Raton in Florida, who regularly shares his teachings on YouTube.

At her weekly sessions, she brings articles or videos connected to faith and also reads out – anonymously – emails and WhatsApp messages that members of the group have sent her during the previous week. “These are then used as a springboard to talk about, model and understand what faith is.”

These presentations – which she also posts on YouTube - now form the basis of Rebbetzin Feldman debut book, Choosing the Way of Faith.

People think that if you are a rabbi or a rebbetzin, you’ve got it all figured out, but everyone goes through challenges which make it difficult to feel faith

Nearly all 500 copies were quickly snapped up by members of her community. “People said to me after Rosh Hashanah: ‘I didn’t follow the service because I was reading your book. Other people have said: ‘Thank you – my Yom Kippur reading is already sorted!’”

The book, dedicated to the memory of her mother and published to coincide with her tenth yahrzeit, interweaves Rebbetzin Feldman’s own reflections on faith with recollections from the hostages and anonymous messages from members of her discussion group. “I think because of the book’s honesty and vulnerability, it’s really touched people.”

Emily Damari turned to God in captivity (Photo: Blake Ezra)(C) Blake Ezra Photography 2025 Not to be reproduced without written permission.

Shortly afterwards, Rebbetzin Feldman gave a presentation at the Chief Rabbi’s Annual Rabbinic Conference. “It was daunting to speak in front of a room full of rabbis and rebbetzins about how I struggle with faith, but I also wanted to share with them how the community is clamouring to talk about the challenges and the triumphs when it comes to faith.”

She says the weekly group sessions have “massively impacted” the Bushey shul. “Despite all the struggles that we are going through, people know that there is a safe place to go once a week and also that it’s okay to talk about your feelings.”

Asked how she reconciles being a rebbetzin with her own questioning when it comes to faith, Rebbetzin Feldman says: “Struggles with faith are what makes us Jewish – the word ‘Yisrael’ originates from the Hebrew ‘to wrestle’.”

She cites Elie Wiesel’s play The Trial of God, where the protagonists find God guilty of cruelty and abandonment during the Holocaust – but then immediately daven Ma’ariv. “You don’t need to abandon your religion just because you are questioning your faith. People think that you can’t be angry with God, but I think it’s fine to feel like that as it actually means that you believe in Him.”

To read a PDF version of Choosing the Way of Faith, click here