Shul ‘breaks down every barrier’ for Bodie to celebrate his bar mitzvah

Bodie Diskin (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

That is no longer the case, as the rabbi and rebbetzin have gone to every length necessary to make Bodie and family feel not just welcome, but an integral part of the community, said Clare.

They have bought a “big sensory box so that Bodie can go there and take out things and touch them” whenever he so feels the need. They have also “opened up the whole building”, leaving all doors unlocked during services so that Bodie, described as an “adventurer” by Clare, can “explore spaces if he feels like it”.

Additionally, the rabbi texts Clare personally each week to tell her the most suitable times for them to join the service, which is often when there is singing, Bodie’s favourite part of the morning.

This weekend, Bodie will have a custom-built ceremony, which includes putting his tallis on with the help of Rabbi Kett, a blessing from Clare and her husband Elliot, opening the ark and kissing the scrolls, and receiving a certificate.

There will also be some singing of Bodie’s favourite Jewish songs, which he has become familiar with in recent months, thanks to voice recordings of Rabbi Kett singing them.

He has “fantastic visual resources” to guide him throughout, which his school, despite not being a Jewish faith school, has made for him.

Present at the ceremony will be the most important people in Bodie’s life: his speech therapist, physiotherapist, schoolteacher, social worker, and some other carers, as well as his family. Bodie has two older sisters, and a twin brother, whose bar mitzvah is the following day.

After the ceremony, there will be a private kiddush for which the rebbetzin has sourced Bodie’s favourite ice cream.

Bodie Diskin and his mum, Clare (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

It is quite clear when listening to Clare speak how grateful she is to the rabbi and rebbetzin for implementing provisions which genuinely transform the accessibility in the synagogue. They have “kicked down every single barrier that there could be”, she said.

Not only that, but their efforts are inspiring more of the same. Rabbi and Rebbetzin Kett are organising a “special Chanukah celebration for families like mine”, said Clare, to be hosted at Bushey Synagogue.

Rivka Steinberg, the lead advocate for additional needs at the United Synagogue, in partnership Gesher, hopes that the adjustments made by Radlett’s rabbinic couple will be taken up by other US communities for members with additional needs.

Steinberg said: “We are committed to adapting and creating spaces where every member can celebrate with dignity, confidence, and be part of Jewish life, with a true sense of belonging.” She praised Clare’s dedication, noting how “other families can be encouraged and see how even small, thoughtful steps can transform what might feel like a difficult or overwhelming process into something beautiful and joyful for everyone involved”.

Rabbi Kett said: “We’ve had the great privilege of working with the Diskin family ahead of Bodie’s bar mitzvah. It has been an absolute joy and a real pleasure.” He said that the family had been “absolutely fantastic in embracing a collaborative approach to finding something that is tailor-made, unique and bespoke to Bodie's needs”.

For Bodie, the process has displayed his “resilience and growth”, and “a level of bravery and a level of performance”, according to Clare. “He’s never stood on a stage until recently and been able to look at people looking at him,” she said.

Bodie “indicates each week that synagogue is a place he looks forward to going to”, because it “makes him feel special and like he belongs to something”.

Bodie Diskin (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

And for Clare, the whole process has been a release of a lot of “guilt and frustration that the world hasn’t been ready for young people like Bodie”. For the first time, she said, Bodie believed “that there’s something which has really been built around him”.

“I want to put my arms around other mothers like me,” Clare told the JC. And she has already done just that, as a mother from Surrey who has a child with similarly complex needs recently reached out to her – and her synagogue has subsequently implemented similar provisions to Radlett United.

It is also a source of comfort when Clare thinks ahead to when she may no longer be able to care for an adult Bodie round the clock. “Being part of a community which feels a sense of responsibility about him makes us feel really reassured for the future,” she said.

In one of the soon-to-be-released videos, Clare says: “I would encourage absolutely anyone, irrespective of your challenges, to get in touch with your shul, because you’d be absolutely amazed with how many ways you can make something work and create something really beautiful.”