Bar mitzvah boy twins his special day with his ‘irreplaceable’ uncle

And where most Jewish boys were preparing for their bar mitzvah ahead of turning 13, James was still unable to speak clearly or sit still through a shul service, so they said that was never really an option.

At the age of 16, James moved into his first Norwood home before relocating to another one run by the organisation in Stanmore three years later, where he has lived “very happily” ever since, said his parents.

James is “incredibly close” to his two nephews, they added, and will often spend time with them, playing drums and guitar being in the audience in their school plays.

Oli as a baby and his uncle, James Fine (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

So, when it was time for Oli to begin preparing for his bar mitzvah at Sha'arei Tsedek – North London Reform Synagogue - in Barnet, there was only one person he wanted to share it with – his Uncle James.

For his study passage, Oli chose an extract from an article by a rabbi who had overseen the bar mitzvah of a disabled boy. In the passage, the rabbi said the boy “should not be called disabled, but ‘metzuyanim’, ‘those who excel’…. They may not possess the skills you and I routinely take for granted. But [metzuyanim] excel at many things, including making the rest of us more aware, more sensitive and much more humble.”

Oli said he chose the passage because he “liked the idea that having an uncle like James makes me more aware of how irreplaceable he is and how lucky we are to have him in our lives”.

In his speech on the day, Oli shared with family and friends that his uncle James was “a very big part” of his life and who, despite having learning disabilities, understands a lot and is able to join in with many activities with his housemates and family.

James (left) and Oli on their big day (Photo: courtesy)[Missing Credit]

“[Although] he still can’t read or write, just like the rabbi said in the passage, he excels at many things,” Oli said. “He can remember everyone he meets, even if it was only for a few minutes, and can name any song from the opening bar. He is also full of love for his friends and family and has a great sense of humour.”

Deeply moved by the occasion, James’ parents told the JC: ““It was very special to see our son and grandson together on the bimah and to see James finally able to have a bar mitzvah. It was a very emotional day for everyone there to support them both, and we were very proud of how Oli handled the whole day and how word-perfect he was.”

The bar mitzvah duo was joined around the bimah by family, and Oli’s mother, Emma, said afterwards how “incredibly grateful” they were to Sha'arei Tsedek Synagogue and Principal Rabbi Shulamit, “who embraced the occasion and its message of inclusion”.