When it comes to domestic abuse we need to act and make a change - I should know - The Jewish Chronicle

Eight years ago I thought I had found someone who loved me. Sometimes he did seem to love me, but at other times, after the drug taking and the drinking, he became a different person. I was scared of him. What happened shook me and shattered my self-confidence to rock bottom. I would sit in the bathroom crying and in pain. But I never told anyone any specific details - because I was afraid; afraid of people thinking I was weak.

Then last year I went to a conference called One Young World. One Young World is a conference for young leaders around the world, bringing together 1,300 young leaders from 196 countries - only the Olympic Games involves more countries.

I sat and listened to all these young people talking about the amazing ways in which they were helping to make the world a better place. I couldn’t stop thinking that other people had done such wonderful things and inspired so many, and that all I had done was hide from the issues. I had written down my feelings but not shared them. I decided that I had to do something. I went back to my room each night and started to draw up a plan of what I’m most passionate about: Safety. Safety for women and girls.

I spoke to David Jones –one of the founders of One Young World. I explained this was my passion - but I didn’t want to leave my current job at Unilever. I wanted to combine my passion and my job. They said that I should speak to the CEO of Unilever, Paul Polman. I laughed as people like me, low down in the company, don’t usually just go up and speak to people like Paul Polman.

So I started writing again. This time: an email, scrutinising every word. Eventually, I sent the email. Within 2 hours I had a reply saying “let's find a time to meet.” So we met. Not for 15 minutes like I thought. But for an hour. At the end he shook my hand and said “‘Esther, don’t let me down on this”.

Eight years ago, when I was sat in that bathroom upset, I would start to write my feelings down in order to help me feel better. I carried on writing for a year and a half once the relationship was over. Then, one day I said to myself: “Ok, today is the day. Today I stop writing and start getting on with my life”. The final sentence I wrote that day was “one day I will stand tall”.

Last week I stood up on the main stage of one young world in Bangkok, Thailand and launched StandTall - a web based platform that seeks to protect and help women worldwide that are being, or have been abused in order to empower them once again].

StandTall has two main aims:

1.To provide the NGOs charities and organisations working in this area, a platform to publicise their services and tools helping victims find them and broadening their positive impact.

2.To provide an anonymous platform for people who have been through abuse or have seen others go through abuse with a cathartic opportunity to share their story, with the added benefit of helping others coupled with an education platform with safety tips.

In the Jewish community we tend to shy away from topics like domestic violence, but it happens.

As Naomi Dickinson wrote last month , people would say to her “convince me”- convince me that it actually happens. Well, I am now. I am an example. People shy away from it because we are nice middle class families and say “how can it happen to people like us”. I grew up in the most loving Jewish family ever and had a good education, but it doesn’t stop these things from happening.

In case you are wondering - yes it was a Jewish gentleman I was in a relationship with who carried out the abuse. We need to start to get serious about this and help our women and our girls feel that it’s not shameful if this happens to them and it’s ok to talk about it. It took me eight years. How long are we going to make our Jewish women and girls wait? We need to act and make a change. We need to act now, for if not now when?

You can find out more at www.standtall.org or watch Esther’s speech on You Tube.

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