Love to hate Valentine’s Day? You’re not alone

4) You remind yourself that you’re Jewish – St Valentine means nothing to you. He’s a Christian saint.

5) That’s right – you’re Jewish! It’s Friday night! Hooray for obligatory family food-fest. Better luck next year, boys.

6) You scoff at the “tacky” glitter-sprayed roses on your colleague’s desk – while checking Tinder for messages.

7) Your leggy, blonde boss offers you a spare bunch of flowers – she has five. You grit your teeth and take them home to grandma.

8) But your bubbe has set up a shidduch. Her friend’s nephew’s brother’s cousin is sitting beside you. He’s a bald accountant. “What do you want, a gorilla?” hisses your mother.

9) You pop another chocolate - and send the required Mazel Tov to your eighth Facebook friend – pictures of engagement rings and #couplefies dominate your homepage.

10) That won’t do. You spread Nutella over your challah. Screw love, the pagan holiday and all the tacky tin-foil that goes with it. This is the perfect marriage.

For more on the single girl, Valentine's Day, Jewish mothers and marriage - check out Abigail Radnor’s comment piece here.