(#552) The eight nights of Chanukah (© David Minkoff)
On the first night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the second night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, two matzoh balls and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the third night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the fourth night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, four pounds of salt beef, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the fifth night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, five pickled cucumbers, four pounds of salt beef, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the sixth night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, six bubbehs cooking, five pickled cucumbers, four pounds of salt beef, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the seventh night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, seven rabbis dancing, six bubbehs cooking, five pickled cucumbers four pounds of salt beef, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
On the eighth night of Chanukah, someone sent to me, eight fiddlers fiddling, seven rabbis dancing, six bubbehs cooking, five pickled cucumbers, four pounds of salt beef, three golden latkes, two matzoh balls, and a warm bagel topped with cream cheese.
(#872) The arrival (© David Minkoff)
As the El Al plane settles down at Ben Gurion airport, the voice of the Captain comes over the tannoy.
"Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until this plane is at a complete standstill and the seat belt signs have been turned off. To those of you standing in the aisles, we wish you a Happy Chanukah. To those who have remained in their seats, we wish you a Merry Christmas."
(#1078) Chanukah cards (© David Minkoff)
Sadie is holidaying in Israel and goes to the post office for some stamps for her Chanukah cards. "Can I have 50 Chanukah stamps please?"
"Of course," says the clerk, "what denomination?"
"Oy vay," says Sadie, "has it come to this already? OK, give me 14 liberal, 28 reform and 8 orthodox stamps please."
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