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Tiffany Haddish’s rabbi Susan Silverman on how she prepared for her ‘Black Mitzvah’
The rabbi, a sister of comedian Sarah Silverman, said it was the first time she did a batmitzvah on the red carpet
December 11, 2019 21:28
The rabbi, a sister of comedian Sarah Silverman, said it was the first time she did a batmitzvah on the red carpet
December 11, 2019 21:28It is a far cry from the standard coming-of-age ceremony: one of America’s top celebrities stands on stage and tells a star-studded guest list that it is her “Black Mitzvah, bitch.”
Tiffany Haddish grew up in foster care and only discovered in adulthood that her biological father was an Eritrean Jew. So she decided to mark her 40th birthday with a batmitzvah.
The Beverly Hills party started as she was carried in on a chair singing Hava Nagila. Ms Haddish then declared she has become a “grown ass woman,” and delivered an expletive-heavy stand-up show — which has just been released on Netflix.
Jimmy Kimmel and Wanda Sykes were there for the party. Barbra Streisand could not make it and wished her mazeltov on Instagram.
The mood was very different at the religious ceremony. There, just 60 people from her closest circles, including Billy Crystal, watched her recite prayers, read from the Torah, and give her insights into a biblical story. Mr Crystal was honoured with a call-up to the Torah.
The rabbi who stood by her, and prepared her for the occasion, told the JC that she was staggered by her enthusiasm and commitment to Jewish study.
She spent much of her adulthood without a word of Hebrew, but felt confident leading the service.
“She did lots of it,” said Jerusalem-based Susan Silverman. “She recited Shema and read from the Torah.”
Rabbi Silverman said that she took great satisfaction from the ceremony. “It’s almost like she wandered so much in her life and, all of sudden, she is home. That’s what it seemed like to me.”
Rabbi Silverman went to America and gave her lessons a few weeks before the batmitzvah.
Her daughter Aliza, who lives in New York, went to film sets “to teach the Torah trop during breaks in filming” — and reported to her mum, the rabbi that she “never met anyone who is this excited and passionate about her Judaism.”
The Silverman mother and daughter both were at both the ceremony and the party.
“I have never before done a batmitzvah standing on a red carpet,” said Rabbi Silverman, adding that she felt the events “brought Torah to people who wouldn’t otherwise experience it.”
The Friday night before the batmitzvah, she went to synagogue with Ms Haddish. “It was beautiful; there was so much beauty and love.”
Ms Haddish made life easy for her teachers.
“She’s a super-fast learner,” reports Rabbi Silverman. “I sat with her and did Jewish and biblical history in an hour-and-a-half and she was, later on, referring back to details.”
The rabbi and the celebrity have a natural connection. Ms Haddish grew up in foster care, and Rabbi Silverman is an adoptive mother who runs an organisation, Second Nurture, that promotes fostering and adoption.
The rabbi got in contact with Ms Haddish to ask her to sit on Second Nurture’s board. She heard nothing back, but then her sister, the comedian Sarah Silverman, threw a party.
“My sister has a roof party every summer and Tiffany was there.”
After a few words from Sarah, Ms Haddish was on Second Nurture’s board, and decided she had also found her batmitzvah teacher.
The whole experience went swimmingly for Rabbi Silverman apart from one aspect — the realisation just before the celebrations that everyone would be dressed up to the nines, and her look is more clergy-casual.
“I never think of things like that,” she said. “So at the last moment my friend in LA lent me a dress. I have one big t-shirt dress I wear for everything, but I was told, ‘not for this.’”
