This time last week, we were planning Eyal Booker’s wedding to Hayley, a non-Jewish blonde model from Liverpool. We’d already looked into sympathetic rabbis who could handle her conversion.
In Love Island though, a lot happens in a week and, oh, how things have changed.
It is fair to say Eyal’s Israeli mother no longer has to worry about explaining what hummus is to the Merseyside beauty who, we found out this week, thought Brexit would cut short her holidays. It turns out Eyal was “too much” for Hayley, who still can’t pronounce his name correctly — probably a further indication that she was just not that into him.
Despite Eyal saving her from an eviction, she went behind his back after kissing him to confess to fellow contestants Wes and Laura that he made her “belly feel sick”.
“He is too deep for me,” she moaned, apparently because Eyal asked her what her favourite animal was in an attempt to get to know her better. My guess is it’s a goldfish.
Naturally, we were furious to see our Eyal get played. Luckily, Wes, Love Island’s righteous gentile, was on hand to break the news that Hayley was not for him. At that point Eyal came off his gap year and reverted to his St John’s Wood approach, channelling his middle class rude boy to put her in her place.
“Rahhhh,” he whined upon discovering her two faces — which were not the ones with or without makeup.
He told Hayley to “stop chatting s*** about him” — and we all cheered.
Things quickly deteriorated though when new villa resident Megan, a former stripper-cum-legal-personal-assistant-and-model, arrived.
The kabbalah hippy was sprung and mercilessly went head-to-head for her affections, with Alex, the doctor who has so far been unlucky in love .
Fortunately for Eyal, Megan’s mother is not Jewish and is not likely to have self-combusted in the same way our Jewish mothers would have, when she kissed Eyal on a date, rather than the doctor.
Our curly-haired hero turned zero when he attempted to “lay it on her thick” — Love Island speak for pressuring her to pick him over Dr Alex.
We were left wishing we could claim the doctor as one of ours instead.
But perhaps the most shocking revelation was Eyal’s confession that while he describes himself as “spiritual” he does not believe in God but more in energies and higher powers.
Let’s hope the Chief Rabbi wasn’t watching.
