Making space for women

For the first time, she was around people who ate non-kosher food, went out on a Friday night and “tried everything” she had previously been denied. She discovered a taste for a different life.

“When I was 13, I rebelled against everything even though I was at a Jewish school,” she says. “I started seeing other Jewish kids, who were not following the religion as I was taught. I did not want to be limited by the structure. I wanted to have the freedom that I really craved. I went the other way.”

She reflects on this time, as that of the young heroine — seeking out new experiences, only to later “arrive back home, changed with medicine and gifts”.

She says: “I was a maiden, curious about the world and wanting to figure everything out. That journey was interesting, and it took me up to my twenties. It was a time of real disconnection. That time came with trying and doing things that were not great for me.”

“I was trying it all out, without the structure of ritual, tradition and community. My family was always there, waiting for me. They let me go on this quest and they were there if I needed anything.”

She went on to read theatre and history of art at the University of Miami, where she “partied enough for the rest of my life”. Back in London, she worked as an actress, a florist and later at an events company that specialised in arts, culture and music.

But by the time she turned 23, for her, the scene had lost its sparkle. A relationship with a boyfriend ended at the same time as her job did — and she was lost.

“It took the world shaking around me, for me to look in the mirror and realise I did not know who was staring back. I had to relearn who I was.”

For weeks, she locked herself in her room, shut the blinds and cried.

“It was the first time I had cried in years,” she says. “I remember just crying and crying, feeling like the whole world was pouring in on me. I was in that state for a few weeks before I started creeping back into the world.

“I took it day by day, step by step. There were temptations and some days I went back, but it was such a ‘no’ in my body, I knew it was not my path.”

She started to read “empowering” books on artistry. She “started to feel like this kid again. If I wanted to do something, I did it. If I didn’t, I didn’t.”

In 2015, she took a job at an Israeli start-up company called Funzing, which encourages creatives to generate experiences for consumers – from artistry workshops to cooking classes. “Anyone with a passion or hobby could go on the website and create an experience. My job was to seek out these passionate people.”

It was here that she came across a woman called Zoe, who read tarot cards and identified as “a witch, a wise woman”.

Visiting her home on Hampstead Heath, she was overwhelmed by the sight of tarot books, crystals, and jars. “She taught me about the moon and its cycles, the ancient feminine practices and how closely connected we are to the world around us.

“Everything she started to say resonated on a very deep level for me, it ignited something inside me I had forgotten.”

Together, they led and attended women’s circles. At the circles —sometimes used to mark moments from a marriage to a pregnancy or even a full moon — a ritual cloth will often be placed on the floor beneath the participants.

Flowers will be scattered, a smudge stick and frankincense will be used to “cleanse” the space, and “nourishing tea” will be served as women express themselves in a safe space, free from judgement.

At the end of 2015, she started The Goddess Space, sharing her work through the forum.

On reflection, she says her work is rooted in her upbringing — a fusion of Judaism and lessons from her mother, acclaimed bohemian interior designer Sera Hersham, who “showed me the magic and art of turning a house into a home, filling it with creativity, life and beauty.

“Spaces were a big part of my upbringing.”

In 2019, she married former footballer Michael Doughty. Though Doughty is not Jewish, she says they weave the faith into their home through practices.

On Friday night, she lights Shabbat candles in candlesticks, which are a family heirloom. On Rosh Hashanah, she hosted the family.

When she moves into a home with a garden, she plans to build a succah to host special gatherings and circles over the festival.

“I trust in the roots of Judaism, I am constantly inspired by Judaism,” she says.

“Judaism creates those markers where you honour loss, love and rites of passage. Now I look back on it, that was the thread that led me back.”

Pregnant during the pandemic, she knew it was time to slow down. She decided to launch an online forum that would teach women how to host their own circles. Over the past year, more than 900 women have signed up.

And while she does still host circles, including those for mothers and their babies, her priority is raising their daughter through the practice of what she calls, “wild mothering”.

In doing so, she follows her daughter’s lead.

“Motherhood has forced me to slow down. I follow Luna’s rhythm, instead of forcing her to mine. The feminine asks us to slow down and be present, to observe and be a safe hand for your baby to hold on to, to trust your own mothering instincts.”

Although she talks about moving slowly, she has accomplished a lot over a short period, including writing a book.

“The ripple effect of this work is just so beautiful,” she says.

I wonder whether a philosophy that focuses on the “feminine” still has a place in an increasingly woke society that questions the existence of gender.

“It is, ultimately, a feminine space, which is in such a deep contrast with the masculine world we live in.

“However in this day and age, if you want to connect to that essence, you are welcome to. It is not a space for the men and the masculine. It is a calling for the feminine.”

She adds: “These spaces have been forgotten, they have been left out of our society and culture. The circle reminds women of their power. In a patriarchal society, we have almost been forced to forget.

“A woman who is in her power — who trusts her strength and instinct — is a very threatening being.”

Instagram: @thegoddessspace

The Women’s Circle: How to Gather with Meaning, Intention and Purpose by Anoushka Florence will be published next spring by Hardie Grant Books