How to get ahead in the media, like Eliane Glaser

Memo to any bright, ambitious, young person keen to make their way in the “meeja”. First, pick a topic ripe for easy demolition, such as the way in which TV, the press, PR, advertising, politics and big business all use spin, persuasion and distorted reality to influence our lives:

Second, write a book fearlessly exposing the way in which TV, advertising, politics, big business, etc have distorted reality and created a dumbed-down world of phoney illusion. Give it a snappy, tell-it-like-it-is title. Get Real: How to tell it like it is in a world of illusions by Eliane Glaser (Fourth Estate, £14.99) is a great start.

Third, affect a folksy style to “relate” to your readers and not put them off by appearing too highbrow.
Phrases like “kinda helps”, “Marx was cool again” or “zone out” show your common touch, but name-drop modish theorists like Lacan, Althusser or Derrida and give a brisk tutorial in their ideas, to prove you’re an intellectual heavyweight.

Liberally sprinkle your text with media jargon like “false consciousness”, “nudge politics” and “democratic deficit” to demonstrate how au courant you are, and provide helpful, potted descriptions of all the thinkers you quote, such as “the German philosopher Immanuel Kant” or “the psychologist and social theorist Erich Fromm”.